Thursday, June 10, 2010

If Hashim Amla Played Soccer

If Hashim played soccer he would never dive.

If Hashim played soccer all matches on Thursday night will be moved.

If Hashim played soccer, they'd be sprinkling rose water over the players when they stand for the national anthem

If Hashim played soccer and he scored like Maradona, the commentators would call it the the "hand of Hazrath". But Hashim wouldn't take the goal.

If Hashim played soccer we'd have to stop calling Benni fat and refer to him as Masha Allah

If Hashim played soccer then yellow cards would be replaced by 'Astaghfirullahs,' and red cards by 'naoozibillahs'. When you get a 'naoozibillah' you must sit on the taubah bench and reflect

If Hashim played soccer you would get a yellow card for drinking water while standing


If Hashim played soccer they would rename Cape towns stadium to Green Dome.

If Hashim played soccer, the 90 Minutes would be fardh time, with Extra Time being optional.

If Hashim played Soccer, he would encourage you to kick with your right leg.

If Hashim played Soccer, Instead of shaking the players hands before kick off, Sepp Blatter will put attar.

I originally did this as a facebook status update so I got some great additions from Minhaj

If Hashim played soccer, the world cup would last for 40 days.

If Hashim played soccer, then yellow cards would be makrooh

If Hashim Amla played soccer, then the Fifa countdown would be replaced by 'Insha Allah'

and from The Great One

If Hashim played soccer, stadiums would have a purdah section

MJ

(If you are going to e-mail this or bbm it, I'd appreciate it if you leave my name on it)


www.mjkhan.co.za

Fell free to add in the comments.

7 comments:

Aasia said...

once again I bow to the greatness that is MJ<3
NBL

Nooj said...

haha you have a knack for the ridiculously hilarious
someone bbm'd this and credited u :)

AbdurRahman said...

If Hashim Amla played Soccer all players would have to wear their shorts 3/4 Sunnah Style... and get a Naoozibillah for exposing their Aurah at any point.

吳婷婷 said...

上來逛逛,踩個腳印給你~~~..................................................

M Junaid said...

I hate you chinese person.

Hamza Fareed said...

熱鬧

rani de leyla said...

I dont like footy but this made me LOL :D