Thursday, September 09, 2010

Eid repost - The Night Before Eid

The Night Before Eid by MJ Khan
(adapted from Clement Clarke Moore's A night before Christmas)

'Twas the night before Eid, when all through the house
Only Daadima was scuttling around in her yellowed beige blouse;
The musallahs were kept neatly next to the front door,
Lord knows those mats they put out down don’t protect you from the hard eid gah floor;

The girls were all tucked in, with mendhi on their hands
the little boys were dreaming of collecting a few grands
The burfee was ready, Chana Magaj too
Lets just ignore our diabetes… and pass the laddoo

When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
a jamaat from ladysmith were making our imaan their matter.
Away to the door I ran with my might,
To shut it quickly and switch off the light.

And then, in a twinkling, I heard from the top
a scuttle, a scurry and then a big drop .
As I reached for the light, and was turning around,
Down the chimney Abdul Malik came with a bound.

He was dressed all in white, with a big bushy beard,
And his clothes were all messed with curry stains that smeared;
A large miswaak in his mouth, frayed and wet,
so that he looked like a Viking smoking a wooden cigarette.
And the beard of his chin was as white as the snow;
No sign of a moustache – there was nothing to grow
He was chubby and plump, a portly sized dude,
And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of my mood;
He pulled out a book, perhaps a classic by Dahl?
Who was I kidding, we all knew it was the Fazaail Amaal

I appreciated what they were doing but now was not the time
So I hastily turned them out, without a good reason or rhyme

But I heard him exclaim, resentfully as he left
May Allah give you hidayat, because verily you are bereft


originally wrote this a few years ago, but thought i'd repost it for some of my new readers. Have a lovely day folks - and if you are in Durban tomorrow - pop in at the Chohans spiceworks yard in the morning to help with the Al Ansaar feeding initiative. I'l be the guy in the Black kurtah delegating work to other people :)

Fresh Imam of Bulwer - MJ Parody

Fresh Imam Of Bulwer

This is a vaar all about how
My dunya got flipped-turned upside down
And i liked to give a bayaan
so sit right there
i’ll tell you how I became the imam of a town called Bulwer

In west Isipingo born and raised
In the musjid was where i spent most of my days
Chillin out prayin recitin all cool
And making whudu by the taps in the school
When a couple of jerks
They were full of zulm
Startin makin trouble in my daarul uloom
I got in one lil speech and my ma got skrik
She made me one taaweez and shipped me off to a farm called bulwer

I made dua for a lift
And when one came near
The license plate said 786 and a tasbeeh from the mirror
Blasting Uwais Qadri without so much as a care
I jumped in and said bismillah, home to bulwer

I rocked up for esha about five to eight
And i told my ride shukran, jazakallah mate
I looked at the jamaat khana
I was finally there
To sit on the mimbar as the Imam of Bulwer.


(if you havent guessed it by now this is a parody of 'Fresh Prince of Bel-Air' by Will Smith)

Bulwer is a small town in KZN, and heres a video of the original theme song to help you sing along.