Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Concerning Bacon

I wanted to try and do an 'arrivals style video blog (but a parody of course) This is my first attempt at using movie maker and at making a video. Let me know what you think.

The New Pork Order
MJ Khan

Tonight i reveal the truth concerning the Illuminati's greatest weapon against the Ummah

The new Pork Order, has its roots in 18th Century France when Queen Marie Antoinette famously said, 'Let them eat cake'. The thought of eating a gelatin laden confectionery enraged the Muslim minority who up till then, comprised mostly of respectable soccer players, who would never swear their coach during a world cup game.

Having realised the power of psychological manipulation, the Elders of Bacon conspired to ensure that Pork be at the forefront of the war against Muslims.

They did this by creating a body called the South African National Ham association whose job it was to make sure that every product that is created contains Pig.

from soft drinks like Fanta where pigs are dipped in vats of the concentrated syrups, to traces of bacon in the lithium ion batteries used by many modern electrical appliances. Even the ceramic plates of your hair straightener is contaminated with swine.

The entertainment industry is saturated to references to the pigs, a psychological battle for the control of our childrens minds.

They have even created a replacement for oxygen called hamogen.


Saturday, November 06, 2010

Concerning Cement

You don't want to be the unpopped kernel lying at the bottom of the bowl.

All that salt and flavouring. And no ones going to pick you up.

Someones playing with fireworks at two in the morning. Rebelling against the night. Fighting the silence. he thinks he is a hero, everyone else thinks he is an inconsiderate prick.

The worst type of silence is when you open a bottle of coke and you realise its flat. I think the saying 'you don't appreciate what you have until its gone' was in reference to the gas in the coke.

I don't like fine print because it always sobers you up. I think its a sign that I'm maturing. Kids don't have to read fine print. Because when we are kids, a plastic bag is just one more obstacle between us and the toy. Choking Hazards..pfft.

Looking for a job is depressing. Everyone wants work experience. I have a lot of experience in lecturing, teaching and social media content and community management, and to me, its just another teaspoon of sugar in the cup of tea but no one sees it that way. Maybe I should stick to lecturing. I enjoy it. But it doesn't offer a challenge. Unless i teach Computer science in Greek or something like that. But a challenge for challenge sake is stupid. I want to try my hand at advertising full-time (I spent time at Catalyst and Oddity etc writing copy and developing strategies).

 I want someone to put me in a room. Throw a product at me and say 'You have six minutes, come up with as many ideas as you can to sell this product'. Unless its cement, then I don't want it thrown at me. It can be left by the door. Id love to sell cement. Its not like selling perfume. You dont need half naked girls on top of it. You don't need half naked butch guys either. Its not Carling Black Label.

I just need a chance I guess. I don't want to be a kernel lying at the bottom of the bowl.