Thursday, March 27, 2008

Concerning Butter Chicken

MJ craves butter chicken. This whole staying alone thing is balls. I mean, its great when it comes to things like walking around the house naked (but if you watched How I met your mother you'd know that it quickly becomes boring). I'm tired of pasta. I'm tired of sandwiches, hotdogs, burgers, omelette's, french toast and noodles. I feel for butter chicken, chicken tikka or akhni or biryani. I'm definitely going to get that butter chicken today. Best butter chicken in Durban used to be Eastern Rendezvous by Blue Lagoon but they closed down like six years ago. The Butter chicken from MY Diner is decent, except i find it to be too yellow, I prefer a deeper peach texture, but beggars cant be choosers it seems.

This was one of the best Easters Ive had in my life, culminating in the massively popular (in my eyes) yet highly contested first ever blogger King of the Plate. We are in the events co ordination business so most of my Easters used to revolve around helping dad set up at weddings. For some stupid reason, people like to inconvenience others by getting married on long weekends - its selfish! I'm going to get married on a normal Saturday - none of this long weekend shit for me.

Interesting Easter trivia - in the Czech republic, on Easter Monday, the men spank women with a handmade whip called a pomlázka. Women can retaliate by dousing the men with water - that's really fair. In return for getting a spanking, the woman pays the man with a coloured egg or money. I'm not making this shit up - check it out. apparently, the spanking is done to keep the women beautiful and healthy for the upcoming year.

OK - So Friday, and surprise surprise - a wedding. I'm at that age where my social life revolves around friends nuptials. in fact, we plan our outings like that - all the boys know that we'll see each other at the next wedding anyway. Its all a matter of time. I'm only 25, yet there is still this pressure from people for me to get married soon. Its getting crazy - this guy was palming of his niece to me last week, like she was a PS3 or something. They all get the same four words. I don't mind being the bachelor - the guy who never ticks the 'plus one' bit. My time will come, I know it. I'm not going to live my life alone. And this is something I don't get - we all hear the hadith about how marriage is fulfilling half your iman - heres the full hadith -

Anas ibn Malik Allah’s Messenger (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said, “When a man marries he has fulfilled half of the religion; so let him fear Allah regarding the remaining half.” (Tirmidhi, 3096 and Bayhaqi)

Notice that there is a second part to the hadith. Marriage is something that we need to work towards - no use saying I have completed half my iman, yet you are an abusive husband or an adulterous wife or anything like that. When I get married, I want to do right towards my wife. OK - we all do - no one gets married to make someone else miserable for the rest of their lives, but it happens.

This was supposed to be a report of King of The Plate - its funny how we start at one place, and end up at another.

Today's highlighted article is called Half of your Faith by Professor Tariq Ramadan, who I had the pleasure of meeting last year - He is in my mind, the foremost Muslim Intellectual in the world today.

In other news - Delivery Guy dropped of three copies of the latest 'Digital Life' magazine, and I'm happy to say that one of my articles got published and is the Editors pick for April. Thanks to a friend for reminding me that I don't need people telling me that they are proud of me. I should be proud of my own achievements first, before looking towards others for recognition. We all want to be acknowledged somehow - to prove that in some way, we are better, more deserving. But this should come from within. Don't get me wrong - I love being told that you are proud of me, but it shouldn't be the driving factor as opposed to self enrichment.

Marriage should be like butter chicken - Just peachy


Thursday, March 20, 2008

Concerning Celebrations

I'm on a spiritual high at the moment. Just attended the Meelad celebration at the Westville Musjid, and it has galvanised me in a sense. Ive said this before, and i'm going to say it again - Fuzail really is one of the best speakers on Islam that I have come across. Tonights topic was - Muhammad (s.a.w) the Man. Not the Rasool, or the habib, but just simply, Muhammad the man. Sadly, due to Indo Pak tension, the whole concept of a meelad is contested among the two dominant schools of thought - However, there is a level of syncretism these days. As I said in my chatbox - Meelad Dun Nabi, Siratun Nabi - its all a case of TO MAA TOE, TO MAY TOE.
Fuzail also clarified some of the objections put forth - like, The Sahaaba didnt celebrate the Prophets birthday so why should we etc. I wish I could get a transcript of his talk - By the time it came to the Salaatus Salaam, I couldn't wait to stand -I get immense joy from standing, and while I will never force anyone to stand (Heck - I believe standing or sitting as long as you send Salaam to the prophet its all good) There is definitely a more powerful feeling that you get from standing. Sadly, what I see happening so often these days is emphasis on salaatus salaam at the expense of flagrant attitude towards fard acts like salaah. Barelwis (or as they call themselves Sunnis) need to wake up - I'm not castigating everyone (I know many Barelwis who are punctual in their salah) I'm just talking about what I see.
For me, the whole standing issue isn't a big deal - But because I feel a spiritual bond when I observe it, I'd like to have it at my wedding. However, if I marry a girl who is against it, I'll save it for the walima maybe. (In South Africa the girls side hosts the wedding reception, while the Grooms side takes care of the walima) Or could even read it at the Musjid - its not a fard act, so its no big deal. However, I was thinking I could sneak it in quickly while people are going to the tea table - that way - there is no active effort to stand specifically for it. I'l call it my tea Time Salaami. Its in the tune of Ya Nabi salaam Alaika and goes like this
And we eat the Marie Biscuit
Eet Sum Mor and Lemon Creams
Dip your Chok-Its in your Teaaaaa
Oh we love the Leettle wafers
Salalaa Alaah Muhammed
Salalaah alai wasalaam
(If anyone is offended by this - I recited it in front of three aalims, from three schools of thought and no one took offence, so bite me)
By the way - The concept of the Meeladun nabi isn't something specific to the Indo Pak region - In fact, the largest Meelad in the world actually takes place in an African country - Most muslims around the world celebrate it (with the exceptions of Wahabbis and few others) So - if you have the misconception that it is an Indian thing - Read.

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

Concerning Subway

Ive got this little quirk in that every time I see a Subway, I take a picture in front of it. Ive done it in Cape Town, Dubai, New Zealand... and today in Durban :)

I love Subway - its a brilliant concept really. And its obviously working as its the third largest fast food chain in the world (After KFC and Sunrise Chip and Ranch, or at least that's what the owner of Sunrise, Vikash, tells me)

So I started with his exotic sounding Bread - when given the choice to choose between wholewheat, White, Brown or an Italian sounding lump of dough - always go with the Italian option. I then added two types of cold cuts (thats polony) and some chicken Tikka with cheese. This was complemented by lettuce, onions, green peppers, olives, tomatoes and a shit load of jalapenos and gherkins (Jalapenos are my favourite type of chilli pepper. This was topped off with a sweet onion and BBQ sauce.


I fiddled with the Saturation on the picture to highlight my new awesome goth scarf. And before you ask, No - my top did not at any time belong to a White House Intern. I'm standing next to Zama. I'm a peoples person, so I can get away with anything.


BTW - i ordered a footlong - KOTP - Be Afraid. very Afraid
Halaal Subway is at the Airport - just the excuse I needed to welcome hajjees back.

Sunday, March 16, 2008

Native Deen ft Zain Bhikha - Zamiloonii

I first heard this on Noojs Wall last night. She told me about it a few weeks ago. I love this Nasheed so much. It brought me to tears when i first heard it. Amongst the memories that rushed back to me was one of the historians on the documentary 'Muhammed :Legacy of the Prophet' - who spoke about rasoolullahs intense love for his wife Khadijah bint Khuwaylid. Check out the pic of just Zain on his own - He is holding an Azam Khans Microphone (yay for MJ's bro).
I'l post the lyrics on the comments section

Friday, March 14, 2008

Friday, March 07, 2008

KOTP (2)

Adapted from Cyanide and Happiness

Concerning Chatboxes

I love Cyanide and Happiness! Man, why am I always so late to get on the bandwagon? (by the way - I just heard the Umbrella song, and no way should that have been chosen as song of the year!)

I cant draw for shit, so what Ive been doing is taking the comics, and changing the text (well, i cant write for shit either but its easier than drawing)

If you follow my chatbox, you'll understand why this one is so apt
Finally, Let me post a rather disturbing fan video - driven no doubt by homoerotic lust. Aah - Still, I love him, so its all good.


Wednesday, March 05, 2008

Concerning Adaptations

My taste in music is becoming increasingly eclectic. Ive always been a bit anti mainstream (the biggest reason why I don't listen to radio) but nowadays I find myself listening to Turkish and Scottish music, interspersed with resistance stuff (mostly Immortal Technique and Iron sheik) My english music library is extremely outdated - I mean, the latest thing I have is Nelly Furtado Say it right, so I decided to listen to the U.K top 40. What I noticed is that there is a shit load of Christmas inspired songs (well, it was the December edition i downloaded)
This reminded me of an episode of south park where Cartman took regular songs and change them into Christian rock songs by adding key words like 'Jesus'. So, what if I do that but make Muslim versions of pop songs... I mean, whats the big deal - Naat reciters mercilessly steal Bollywood tunes . Here's two I did last year, and some new ones - you're welcome to add some in the comments page
My Zikr brings all the men to the mosque,
and they're like,its better than yours,
damn right its better than yours,
I can teach you, but I have to charge
Aint nothin but a jihad, baaaaabay!
Two loced out arabs so wer'e craaaaazay!
72 virgins that waaaaaaits me!
Unfadable, so please dont try to fade this [hell yeah]
last Eid, I gave you my heart
but the very next day, you gave a talaq
This year, to save me from tears
I'm getting a muta marriage
i'm bringing Lillah back, yeah
you other NGO's dont know how to act, yeah
so dig in deep, go ahead and break that bank
but no hooplang baby, this aint no prank
You could be tabligh
and I wont know
but you werent tablighi the day you stood up for
all the jalebi that you wish you had not ate
feels haraam like the music in your head
now i need an anti barelwi song (because i'm impartial like that)
why did you have to go and make things so complicated
Ive seen the way you go to the mazaar, gets me frustrated
life like this,
you just read, and you grow and you shave and you fold and you turn it into
honestly, promise me you'll never find me I'm never gonna find you sinning
will think of more after lunch
the songs parodied are
Milkshake - Kellis
Aint Nuthing but a G Thing - Snoop Dogg
Last Christmas - Wham
Sexy Back -- Justin Timberlake
You could be happy - Snow Patrol
Complicated - Avril Lavigne

Tuesday, March 04, 2008

Concerning Pride

The first years call me sir. I don't like it that much. There is too much age in the word. I'm MJ. But then again, i must ask myself, why market myself as MJ. I guess even though i'm in the same age group, at the end of the day some heirarchy must exist. The problem with authority is that it is a vicious cycle. Academia should never be like that. I never claim to know all the answers, but at the same time i'm looked at with expectations.

My approach to lecturing can be seen as being unorthodox at best (some say its 'bonkers' but they are members of staff so their opinion doesn't count.) i don't believe in setting papers that draw on substantial chunks from a book. Retention is hardly a good skill in the media field. For me, media studies is about applying knowledge and critiqueing what we consume.

Last weeks class was on the traditional stimulus response theories of advertising, so i walked in with an afro wig which immediately got their attention. This was the catalyst for explaining the theories. I dont know what im going to try this week. Maybe electrocution. Hmm.