Tuesday, July 31, 2007

Concerning Muggles

The Harry Potter brand is currently being milked for all its worth, and while I see the value of Berties All Flavoured Jelly Beans, I shake my head dismally at the hopeless cash-ins that seem to pollute our retail outlets – I mean, what’s next – Snapes Suduko? As is customary with every big franchise, a licenced video game is surely to follow (almost always guaranteed to be horrible- I can think of only a few tie ins that haven’t made me want to overdose on milk of magnesia and shit myself to death – Rare’s Goldeneye amongst the elite)

Mazozo has proposed a type of Potter RPG (I’l let him get into the details) but I think its rather doable as EA (the company I used as a case study for my thesis) usually does a bunch of action adventures, and then churns out a few RPG’s (see what its done with the LOTR franchise for example) and while my idea has no chance of becoming a reality (A- its an adult game. B- Rockstar does GTA)– wouldn’t it be cool to have a Grand Theft Auto Version of Harry Potter..It’l be something like this

GTA – Hogwarts

… Hogwarts has seen better days. Now four rival gangs have taken arms in an effort to increase their turf and dominate the school. You play the role of ex-con(2 charges: underage use of magic and using magic in full view of a muggle) Harry Potter as he tries to bring down the other three Gangs with the help of his mean street Griffindor Posse. Missions include ‘Breaking into Gringotts’ and ‘smuggling dragon eggs for Hagrid’. Players can get to the various locations either by using the Flue Network, walking or by using their Broomsticks (which can be upgraded at ‘Pimp My Broomstick’ in Hogsmeade) GTA’s Ammu-nation has been replaced with Ollivanders Wands, which are located in key areas. Apart from fighting rival gangs like Slytherin and Hufflepuff, if Harry attracts a lot of heat (indicated by a burning sensation from his scar) teachers will be on the look out for him and if he is caught he will land in Detention, or worse, Azkaban– he can drop his heat level by finding the Invisibility Cloak or going to the room of Requirement. Be warned that every duel could be fatal, and you can find yourself landing in Saint Mungos if you aren’t proficient with your wand. The game does feature violence and strong language and is therefore not suitable for children.


Friday, July 27, 2007

Concerning Dads

I caught the latest Steers advert on the telly tonight (hope you guys watched 'As Good As It Gets' - Jack Nicholson is the man, and i cant see anyone replacing him - i mean, who do we have in the latest stock of actors - Michael Douglas - one of the Baldwins. yeah sure) Anyway - Back to Steers - it was for their 'Rib Special', and it got me thinking - you cant have ribs on a first date - they're too messy - it'll create a bad impression. I think that they'll be good for a third date though (well - the last time i got to a third date with someone was back in October 2001, so what do I know:P) The same goes for other messy food, basically anything that makes you look like a retarded toddler trying to shove an entire pineapple down their throat.

My Dad is 64 today. I love my dad, with his quirky ways, and twisted sense of humour. i remember asking him once about the day I was born - he looked me in the eye, with this serious face ( the kind of face that parents put on when they are examining the phone bill with a highlighter) and said, " Son, The day you were born, i was really hungry, so I'm not even sure I picked up the right baby, so you gonna have to take my word for it OK" before returning to the paper with a smirk on his face.
My dad can switch on the television, flip through channels, start watching a movie from half way - have no idea whats happening, but will refuse to change the channel. Then fall asleep five minutes later. He is the type of dad who won't buy you a chocolate when you're at the mall with him, but will make sure that there will always be a stocked up pantry at home.

Dad and Zahraa

I'm going to watch simpsons tonight - if any guys are keen, let me know ( no girls- well except sibling - she's cool)

Happiness is knowing what you want, and being content with not having it.

Tuesday, July 17, 2007

Concerning Gummi Berry Juice

Mj recently acquired a whole bunch of tv series (many thanks to Waseem, Shiraz, Mohiyudeen for giving them to me, and also Al Gore for inventing the Internet so that they could download all this stuff) Amongst the swag, was Season one of the Gummi Bears – I cant believe that after 18 years, this stuff is still awesome, and I found myself spending the day sitting with my niece, and going through about fifteen episodes of it – this stuff is gold! Some things should have stayed in the past – Care bears and My Little pony for one – have you watched Care Bears recently? Its like some type of mormon programming or something – with a weak plot and badly thought out enemies – I mean ‘No Heart’! WTF!

A great thing about the Gummi Bears is that its so easy to do an Islamic Parody of it – I mean, the Gummi Bears always long to be like the great Gummi’s (read: sahaabah) and even the Great Book of Gummi (read: Quran) is filled with about sixty percent History in it. And can anyone deny that Gruffi is like one of the musjid trustees who chase the kids in the car park during Taraweeh? Coming back to the Great Gummis – they’ve developed a whole lot of technological shit whereas the modern Gummis can only make Gummi Berry Juice – This is just like how we often bask in the glory of what our people made a thousand years ago (before technological progress was deemed haraam). However, it’s a bit implausible to say that Gummi Berry Juice is like Zam Zam so I won’t go there. My favourite characters are Gruffi Gummi and Toadwart. I also identify with Tummi Gummi – FOOOOOD!


Sunday, July 15, 2007

Concerning Guitars

City Hall, usually the site of adolescents throwing up in the hedges, as they succumb to their first drink on their prom night, or the favoured destination for most protest marches (I believe we should rename these to fun walks or something – I mean, if half a million people in London couldn’t stop the war, do we really believe four hundred people in Durban will coerce Israel to withdraw, or a newspaper to apologise? Yeah – they have their purpose bla bla – if you wanna help, its easy – you arm the Palestinians/Iraqis etc and level the playing field a bit) Anyway, before I drift further, lets get back to City Hall – two things made it clear to me that it was definitely an Islamic event tonight and not some Charou prom night. Firstly – Everything started half an hour late, and secondly – the toilet floors were flooded beyond use – what gives? I mean , while we were busy arguing about whether duff was permissible or not, did we forget the hadith about wasting water?

Yea – tonight, I attended the muslim forever concert hosted by Ilm SA – Also found out that the organizers read my blog, and were pretty pissed that I sat in the two hundred rand section last time (One organizer even told me this time around that I’m not allowed to go backstage – pffft – like that was gonna happen) I gave her this lovely smile as I walked past, helping myself to the appetizers that were laid out for the singers, en-route to see ‘ma boys’ Zain and Dawud.

Zain made my night by saying that he loves reading my blog! I’m gonna change my banner sentence from ‘Angelina Jolie to Zain Bhika! Dawud smiled at me, and he was like “ Hey, how you doing? I see you grew your hair”. Dawud rocks! Spent some time discussing comedy in Islam and my new radio show with Zain, before his manager shushed me out so that they could do final rehearsals. Naeem Sheik from Waahid asked me if I was excited about the concert - I was like “Hell No – I wanted to watch Harry Potter tonight”, but then I quickly recovered by saying that I’m hyped for their new stuff. Ahmed Bukathir was there – his stuff was good. The rainbow kids were good as well, so was Waahid. Zain and Dawud rocked (yeah – I’m biased, but its my blog, so blow me) The only substandard item was this Australian guys bayaan on charity or something – I mean, it went for far too long, and I guess maybe MJ wasn’t in Friday sermon mode or something, but I found that to be the lowlight of the evening. Yes – charity is good. I know that ok – its one of the five pillars! MJ and Dawud Warnsby Ali one and a half seconds AFTER they pose - we call it the 'constipated nasheed look'

Line of the evening – Dawud Warnsby Ali : “The organizers have stressed that I don’t include any musical instruments in my performance – because usually I sing with my guitar!”