Sunday, November 23, 2008

Catch MJ's performance this Friday Night

I'm going to be performing at a Nasheed concert this friday (Durban City Hall at half seven) so might as well use this platform to tell you guys about it. Its called the Unity in Diversity concert (which doesnt really make sense when you think about it - if you try to explain it to me you are just deluding yourself) but unlike the name Bilkis - it wasnt off putting enough for me to boycott. Speaking of boycott - I really dont like that term. Boycott. It just sounds silly. Most boycotts arent long term anyway. People should rather say 'We're going to play hard to get' with coke. Thats more plausible.
Since this is my blog - I can say i'm headlining the concert but that would just be lying :)
Looking at the lineup i'm pretty sure im the only weak link there, but I'm going to have fun so its all good.
First up we have Sufyaan Tailor. Yeah. I Havent heard of him of him either. But I hear he is really good. Something to look forward to I guess.
Then we have Inayet Petkar who is launching his new album. Should be popular with the older crowd me thinks. Not really my thing. But then again - I like Scottish music.
After that we have Hafez Nazeer Qadri who is basically a cover artist. As he imitates the style of Owais Qadri.
Then we have Waahid who are launching their third Cd, Labbaik. Looking forward to hearing that.
and finally - Iman from Cape Town who are launching their second CD. If you read my blog often you'l know that I totally dig Iman and one of their tracks is in my top 20 Nasheeds of all time. I'm excited about Iman coming down as I grew very close to them during the souk.
I'm going to be the compere for the night, so I think i'l try my hand at some stand up comedy, and maybe get some audience participation with imitations etc. I was also thinking of doing some small skits with a few characters I created like Uncle Iqbal and a new character Hakim Kareem who is a Muslim herbalist/con artist. For the imitations bit I was thinking of singing a few popular nasheeds by some of the popular artists - Zain, Dawud, Yusuf etc and I'l give prizes to people who correctly guess whose work im butchering. I dont know. Ive got a few ideas in my head but not sure which ideas are good. In general, my ideas suck. For stand up - I'l draw on some of the things ive written about on this blog (my facebook stuff etc) as well as write some new material tomorrow. Would love to hear some ideas from you guys. Just remember - they must be appropriate for a Muslim family event (So i wont be headbanging or anything like that)
If you stuck around and read to this point, then I have some good news for you. The organiser has given me two complimentary tickets to give away on my blog.
Ive got two 120 rand tickets to give away. No idea how this is going to work. I cant create a random generator thing like how Killa did with his Sami Yusuf Tickets so I guess - if you want them - just leave a comment or e-mail. I dont need them for my family as we are doing the sound so they all have comps already.
Tickets can be purchased from the following places and a small portion will be going towards Concerned Helpers so I'm thrilled about that :) For the regular readers, I havent stopped the initiative - a few weeks ago I used some money from the fund to buy Ice cream for all the students at the Inchanga Islamic Centre (Everyone loves Ice Cream) And I have an appointment with one of the regional managers of Checkers next week. I want to try and get two hundred rands worth of perishable foods (day old bread etc) for a local informal settlement every week. i'm not sure what Checkers does with the food it doesnt sell so i'm going to have a chat and see what happens. Worst that could happen is that they'l say no due to legal reasons (the old excuse that if someone gets food poisoning Checkers will be in trouble) Please make dua that it works out - I need to find a way to make this sustainable. in the past four months ive only missed four weeks. Its small, but I do believe we are making a difference.
Tickets are 70 rand and 120 rand each and can be purchased from
Islamic Relief (031 208 28 33)
Al Azhar School of Durban (031 307 76 09)
South Coast Madressa (031 465 23 76)
Ibn Masud Special Needs School(031 209 00 50)
(All the organisations will be benefitting as well)
OR 083 594 8182


Organisers wants me to wear a suit so please dont bring Tomatoes. Rather pelt me with watermelon. I like Watermelon :)

Heres another Bollywood clip I made

Friday, November 21, 2008

Concerning Bollywood (3)

Ive had tons of issues trying to post up my Bollywood videos - so what ive done is Ive taken it off my main page and dumped it in my November archives. You can click on this link to check it out - let me know what you think.


Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Haikus for Famous Dead People

I enjoy writing these fun blogs where I get to mess around with different word structures and stuff. There is a word for this - But I dont know it. I should ask Kay - she knows these weird things. So anyway - When I first started my blog I did a Haiku post , and I feel like revisiting it tonight but with a slight twist. Tonight I want to try and come up with Haikus for famous dead people. If you arent familiar with what a Haiku is - its Japanese poetry with a specific rhyming structure - three lines. Five syllables. Seven syllables and then Five syllables.

Sylvia Plath

Plath, possessed,lost soul

heart filled with sorrow, sadness

lungs filled with stove gas

King Shaka

Great Warrior

Acute Military Mind.

Dingaan Put for Him

Malcolm X

Hajj opened his eyes

he lost his prejudice and

Yogi Bear Bow-Tie

2Pac Shakur

shot twelve years ago

four bullets in Las Vegas

new CD out soon

A few similar posts I did

I'l think of a few more during the day and post them up in the comments section. Please join me if you like. Great One and Mamma - I expect some from you.


Saturday, November 15, 2008

I cant think of a title

He placed his shoes on the rack
starting from the left.
All we noticed was his mohawk
He recited a small dua
and took some water in his hand
all we noticed was the bracelet on his wrist
He stood up before the iqama
Focused. Ready to submit
All we noticed was the ear ring in his left ear
He raised his hands. Supplicating
Asking for his Lords mercy
We raised our hands to hide our mouths
so we could shake our heads and vocalise our disapproval
The moment for dua passes us.
We scurry to our shoes
As if we are running from some affliction
We glance once more
at the boy reading his four sunnat
So we can pick away, outside.

Wednesday, November 05, 2008

Concerning Wheatus

Adapted from Wheatus - Teenage Dirtbag
(Ive used the exact same rhyming structure so it might sound a bit funny if you sing it off-tune)
Her name is Haffsa
I have a dream about her
She bangs my duff
I got asr in half an hour
Oh how she preens
In hijab, blue jeans
But she doesn't know who I am
And she doesn't give a damn about me
Cause I'm just a Sunni Muslim baby
Yeah I'm just a Sunni Muslim baby
Listen to Owais Qadri baby, with me
Her boyfriend's Shiite
bit gay like the time of Loot
And he'd simply bite
My head if he knew the truth
He lives on my block
A bit of a cock
But he doesn't know who I am
And he doesn't give a damn about me
Cause I'm just a Sunni Muslim baby
Yeah I'm just a Sunni Muslim baby
Listen to Owais Qadri baby, with me
Yeeah Sunni, no she doesn't know what she's missin
Yeeah Sunni, no she doesn't know what she's missin
Man I feel outcast
It's Halqa and I am lonely
one glance I cast
She's walking over to me
She must hate me
For Usurping Ali
How does she know who I am
And why does she give a damn about
she said
I've got two tickets to Owais Qadri baby
After Jummah Dhalgous, don't say maybe
I'm just a Sunni Muslim baby, like you
Yeeah Sunni, no she doesn't know what she's missin
Yeeah Sunni, no she doesn't know what she's missin
Thanks Azra for sending me the song :)

Sunday, November 02, 2008

Concerning Anons

There is alot of hate right now on the blogs so I did a quick comic to take the piss out of me :).

I call this one 'Good for the Hit Count'.

adapted from cyanide and happiness

Please click on it to enlarge.


Feedback appreciated (according to my Comedy blog I only have thirty readers. Thats good enough for me :)

I'm going to be away from the blogs for a few days. Will be back though.

Concerning Latin (2)

I did a post last year on the Latin phrase Veni, Vidi, Vici and it was alot of fun trying to come up with variations and give them meaning. A few weeks ago I posted the blog up on facebook and I got some really great additions from a few of my friends.
Here are some of the new ones ive come up with, as well as some from my friends. Additions welcome
Veni, Vidi, Vindaloo - I came, I saw, I had an Europeanised Curry
Veni, Vidi, Vitreous Liquid - I came, I saw, I poked
veni, vidi, van helsing - I came, i saw, i defeated dracula.
Veni, vidi, vista - I came, i saw, i released a crappy operating system
Veni, vidi, vaudeville - I came, i saw, i became a dramaqueen.
Veni, Vidi, Vaali - I came, I saw, I flocked to the beach in July
Veni, Vidi, Vanakum - I Came, I saw, I caught a porridge chow
Veni, Vidi, Vatican. I came, I saw, I stood firm against Homosexuality and Abortion
Veni, Vidi, Vendetta - I came, I saw, I GHDee'd my hair and blew up Parliament
From Waseem
Veni, Vidi, Verbatim - i came i saw I burnt a CD
From Killa
veni, vidi, Vader. - I came, I saw, I am your father
veni, vidi, venom, i came i saw, i met spiderman
From Nikita
veni, vidi, vocabulary - i came, i saw, i corrected your grammar
Veni, Vidi, Vesuvius - I came, I saw, I blew up and killed off an entire nation
veni, vidi, vermicilli - I came, I saw, I made desert
veni, vidi, van gogh - i came, i saw, i cut off my ear
veni, vidi, virgin active - i came, i saw, i exercised
veni, vidi, Vin Diesel - i came, i saw, i paraded my biceps
veni, vidi, Viggo - i came, i saw, i became king of Gondor
veni, vidi, Veronica Mars - i came, i saw, i investigated while showing off my figure
veni, vidi, Virginia Woolf - I came, I saw, I wrote a wrist slitting novel
From Johara M
veni, vidi, waarheid - i came, i saw, i spoke the truth