Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Mammoo Number 5

(Adapted from Lou Begas Mambo No 5)

Bhens and Bhaabis, this is Mammoo number five.

Ek, Do, Teen, Char, Paanch, everybody look at me, and start to naach

For a Paki chow around the corner.

The boys say they want chicken tikka but I really don't wanna.

Bombay Crush like I had last week.

Make no Jit 'cause Crerars is Shit.

I like Fazeela, Jameela, Shama and Sameeha.

Sunni or Tabligh, I’l even jam a Shiaa.

So what can I say? Its really hard to choose.

I like stekkies with the big Laddoos.

Pista Burfee lips, its never enough

Come on Now, someone bang this Duff


A little bit of Jameela, thats a Vaar,

A spicy bit of Nabeela like atchar.

A little bit of Zahra, chasing me,

A little bit of Asma’s all I see.

A little bit of Azra in Purdah,

A little bit of Nadia in my car.

A little bit of Fathima here I come,

A little bit of Mehr makes me mahram

Mammoo number five.


Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Nisbat Noor's Concert

MJ making a fool of himself at City Hall. Good response from the Audience. I would still prefer a younger crowd though. Good fun :)

Monday, January 19, 2009

Concerning Links

Not sure how accurate this is, but this is how I remember it.

So he met her when this chap was down for a blog meet. The first movie we all watched together was this and we were joined by him and her. No sparks or anything like that... or if there were, they hid it quite well. We watched tons of other movies after that including this favourite of mine. Then around this time, this happened.

Yesterday was the engagement :)

Congrats to QD and Shiraz
I love you guys dearly.


(I had ten minutes to kill so I fooled around with a new photo editing software I found that has a 'Waseem blend into background' and 'Give Mj a Black Eye' plug in)

Friday, January 09, 2009

Concerning Telkom

Has anyone seen the Telkom advert with the guy going through all the possibilities available once you have an ADSL line? I see it alot when I go to the movies. I have some concerns about it.

    1. The advert has really high productions values, so it makes me wonder - if our ads look so good, why do our movies look like shit in the special effects department
    2. You can see that Telkom put big money into this advert - which kinda irritates me because they are still a State parastatal meaning that its marketing budget is indirectly financed by ratepayers. I would rather they use that money to improve services or hire more call centre people than waste it on flashy adverts.
    3. The 'usp' of the advert as well as the concept of the campaign itself centres around the phrase 'do broadband'. So the premise of each statement is foregrounded by 'do' as well. Only problem is that it doesnt quite work. I'l give you an example - the guy says - 'do you listen to music or do you do music?' See, what I mean? But the most ridiculous statement is when he says - 'do you get an education or do you Do education?' Who does education? If you ask me, the Idiot who came up with this concept needs to 'Do Matric' again.

Do Education. My ass!

While i'm picking on Telkom, check out the ASA's ruling concerning one of their misleading Do Broadband adverts from last year. Some Muslim guy complained.

Ask yourself today - are you going to read jummuah, or are you going to Do Jummuah?

Monday, January 05, 2009

Concerning Porn

While OH's new screenplay does bear a certain resemblance to Kevin Smiths latest movie, there are enough differences to make it unique. However, Pornography is still seen as taboo in Indian society (even though Porn stars like Anjalie have broken into mainstream) and while Indian Porn has not reached the level that its Hollywood counterpart has (in terms of homages like Shaving Ryans Privates and In Diana Jones and the Temple of Poon) How long will it be before Bollywood movies are referenced in Porn? Heres a few titles I just came up with. I'l return to this list once ive had a think. (I dont know hindi so not sure how ive changed the meaning of any of these movies)
Jab We Pomped

Ta Ra Rum Cum

Kuch Kuch Hand Job Hai

Niel and Knickers

Dick too Pagal Hai

Cheeni Cum


Fuck De India



U, Me Aur Hump


Thursday, January 01, 2009

Concerning News Anchors

I believe in four things only - that we shouldnt hurt anyone intentionally. That we should have patience with one another. That we must be true to each other. And I believe in Coke.

Heres a clip that my friend took off a small bit of me on stage. Because of the rain we had to move the performance inside. Junaid jamshed was being a Nob as usual and went way over his time, so everyone had to cut down their pieces. It was still great fun though and we only finished at a quarter past one. This is me singing a bit from Sing Children of the world by Dawud warnsby Ali. Its a collaboration with Nujumulayl. Three beautiful little girls from Johannesburg.