Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Concerning Doubts

Reading Istikharah scares me sometimes.

I want to have faith. But I also want to have my way. These two seem to be mutually exclusive sometimes.

I want to have doubts, because doubt itself is a sign. A little doubt tells me that I need to work harder.

I usually read istikharah when I sit for itikaf. I'm at my most peaceful and content then. When I'm sitting alone in the musjid after the two old guys have gone to sleep.

The problem with istikharah (or rather my experiences with it) is that when I get a sign I tend to obsess a little and I convince myself that that is the way forward. I lose all rational thought. But then again - I dont read when the problem is rational anyway.

I dont feel like publishing this

11 comments:

Edge Of Where said...

It scares me as well. I tend to be very stubborn so I dont know if i'll follow the "advice" from it if it goes against what I want probably to my detriment then....

AD said...

sometimes i have doubts like you do, but after an istikhara with the true intention, it all falls in perfectly!

nk said...

I know exactly what u mean. But yet, it helps to just do it anyway.. if u know what i mean.

The Organ Harvester said...

depends on what you're looking for and what answers you're prepared to acknowledge. Some answers arent meant for now.

Antonio said...

GOSH.

Difficult one this. What is a sign?

Waseem said...

According to Sheikh Ace of Base -

I saw the sign and it opened up my mind
I saw the sign
Life is demanding without understanding

but they also said :

What you gonna tell your dad's like a wheel of fortune

KiLLa said...

According to Sheikh Eminem..

'These voices, these voices, i hear them..
And when they talk, i follow, i follow'

The thing with istikhara for me is.. If im certain i wont read it.. Only when there is a doubt i will..

KimyaShafinaaz said...

ditto antonio: what is a sign? if we wait on flashing neon signs, we may be disappointed.

the way i c it, when u make istikharah, your actions and decisions thereafter are a guided process -- part of ur efforts of seeking clarity. i believe that. that and the fact that things happen precisely as theyr meant to. all the best dude.

M Junaid said...

i shouldnt have published this

Zahera said...

Maybe youre not understanding what Istikhara is then.

Nafisa said...

If Istikhara scares you - it's probably because you don't want it to be a particular answer. If you feel that way then maybe don't read Istikhara (assuming its for 1 particular question)?

The one time read it, I did find it difficult to accept but I had to because I asked for guidance. When I think about it today, it was a good decision. Allah knows best.