MJ's Top 50 Games of All Time (30 - 21)

30. Unreal Tournament 3 (xbox 360)

It could be that the characters look like they were ripped straight out of Gears of war (same developer) or it could be that the stinger mini gun is one of the coolest weapons ever, but what sealed the deal for me was the system link co op campaign. Capture the Flag has never been this much fun.

29. WWF No Mercy (Nintendo 64)

I enjoy my wrestling games alot, having owned more than fifteen wrestling titles and while I spend hours every weekend playing Smackdown vs raw 2009 with my mates, my favourite Wrestling game will always be WWF No Mercy on the Nintendo 64. The follow up to their critically acclaimed Wrestlemania 2000, if you havent heard of WWF No mercy - google it. Smackdown is good, but No Mercy was pure fun.

28. Prince of Persia 3. The Two Thrones (XboX)

The Prince of Persia series has always been one of the better franchises in the video game world, from the groundbreaking original of yester year, to the time manipulating beauty of the recent trilogy. My favourite however, has to be Prince of Persia 3. The first one was really good, but had a flawed combat system. I did not like the second one, Warrior Within at all because of the dark and mature theme that it had. I was disappointed with the direction that the game had taken, even though the combat elements were tightened. Luckily, for the third game, Ubisoft went back to its roots and produced a legendary title worthy of a top fifty accolade. I have played all three versions (Ps2, xbox and Wii) and I enjoyed it the best on the Xbox (better graphics and the controls seemed better suited to the controller) so that version gets the nod.

27. Conkers bad Fur day (Nintendo 64)

I remember seeing the first images of Conker and thinking 'Oh great - another kiddies platformer on a system that was already straining under the weight of too many platformers (kinda like the FPS and the Xbox 360). I heard nothing about the game for two years and then, BAM, Rare hits us with one of the crudest yet funniest games ever. A swearing drunk squirrel. Cant get much funnier than that.

26.Fable 2 (Xbox 360)

I love games that deal with morality (one of the reasons that Bioshock is so high on my list. When I started Fable 2 I intended to be good, but it wasnt long before I started implementing shariah law in Bowerstone and killing all the hookers and drunks. I loved the idea of consequence affecting gameplay.

25. Sonic 2 (Sega Mega Drive)

I had the tv on in the background the other day( something i usually do when I’m on the pc) and I heard a familiar tune, and without even looking at the screen I knew that it was Sonic the Hedgehog) Sonic 2 remains my favourite in the series. And I doubt Sega would have been a serious contender in the market if it hadn’t been for this blue haired wonder.

24. Chip and Dale Rescue Rangers (NES)

Cartoons and their game counterparts always seem to come in the form of Platform games, be it Aladdin, or Ducktales, Tailspin or Darkwing Duck. It seems that platformers were the obvious choice for any game developer. As you probably might have noted - co op games feature prominently on my list, and Rescue Rangers is no exception. One of the best platformers I played.

23. Lion King ( Sega Mega Drive)

Continuing with Disney Intellectual Properties that have been converted to videogames, One of my favourite movies of all time - Lion King, is easily one of my favourite games as well. From the upbeat theme music, to the darker, more mature end level, The Lion King videogame captured the movie perfectly.

22. Goldeneye (Nintendo 64)

Critically acclaimed, twelve years later and Goldeneye is still considered to be the quintessential console first person shooter as well as the best game adaptation. No other James Bond game managed to capture the feel of Goldeneye (the closest is Everything or Nothing for the PS2)

21. International Superstar Soccer 64 (Nintendo 64)

Before Pro Evo, and Winning Eleven - Konami developed ISS, and since then I have been hooked on the series. While some might argue that Pro Evo 2008 on the PS2 is the best version yet, my favourite still remains the one released a decade ago.

MJ's Top 50 Games of All Time (40 - 31)

40. Worms: Open warfare (PSP)

While this version of Worms is not as critically acclaimed as previous releases (they trimmed down the arsenal so no more holy hand grenades) I still found it to be the best purely because of the Platform, the PSP. And I remember many hour playing multi player wi fi with my mates during media lectures. Worms went the Mario route and tried 3-D, but like many other successful 2D franchises that didn’t make the transition that well (Earthworm Jim I’m looking at you)

39. Viva Pinata (Xbox 360)

It feels weird having a farming game up here nestled between all the violence, but I truly love this game. Often overlooked as a simplistic kids game, Viva Pinata balances between being an addictive collect a thon to a more casual 'i just want to water the garden' game. Ive put in over 80 hours into the single player mode - thats more than any other xbox game i Have.


38. BattleToads and Double Dragon (Nintendo Entertainment System)

When we think crossovers in gaming, the first thing that comes to mind are the Capcom vs SNK or Marvel vs SNK beat em ups, and crossovers are becoming increasingly popular (Think about Kingdom Hearts or MK vs DC) My favourite Crossover game is still battletoads and Double Dragon. Which other game could you literally pound your enemy into the ground before punting them out of the screen.

37. Tetris (Almost any system out there)

Three years ago I read a Book called Game Over: How Nintendo Zapped an American Industry, Captured Your Dollars, and Enslaved Your Children which covered the Tetris saga, and unveiled how Governments stepped in to procure the rights to the game. Any game that has that kind of impact deserves to be in a list. Also, when you draw up a list of the most influential people in video games, alongside Miyamoto, and Meier and Kutagari, you will find Tetris inventor, Russian mathemetician, Alexey Pajitnov.

36. Tony Hawk Pro Skater 3 (PS2)

In popular culture, the term jumping the shark denote the point at which the characters or plot of a TV series veer into a ridiculous, out-of-the-ordinary storyline (wikipedia) Usually this occurs after a series has reached its peak. For me, Tony Hawk Underground 2 represented that point in this series, with the two previous games (Thug 1 and Tony Hawk 4 initiating the decline) For me, Tony Hawk 3 will always be the best T.H experience.

35. Pong (Magnavox but I used to play it on the Mega Drive)

My fondest memories of Pong actually come from Ultimate Mortal Kombat 3. There is a cheat you input at the title screen in UMK3 which loads a game of Pong, and as ridiculous as it sounds, my mates and I spent half the time actually playing Pong instead of other Mega Drive Games (UMK included) Pong is regarded as the first commercially successful video game ever, and if it was not for it, The first console, The Magnavox back in 1972, would have never taken off. In some part, your shiny Xbox or Ps3 owes a bit to Atari, and their smash hit, Pong

34. Smash Bros Melee (wii)

Im a Nintendo fan (Now im more into Xbox but growing up, ive always preferred Nintendo) so its a huge treat to be able to play something like Smash Brothers and beat the crap out of pikachu with Mario. Ive owned all three of these games - The N64, Gamecube and Wii editions, and I must say that the Wii Edition is by the far the best.

33. Forza 3 (Xbox 360)


I’m not a huge racing fan. I enjoyed Need for Speed Most wanted, and Midnight Club 3 but thats about it. I can handle arcade racers like Burnout but I find Gran Turismo to be a tad sterile for my liking. Thats why I was mildly surprised to enjoy Forza 3. Great Game that should be in any petrolhead gamers collection. This was actually a tough call because I really enjoyed Shift this year, and Need for Speed Most Wanted was also up for contention for this spot. But Forza gets the nod.

32. Chronicles of Riddick. Escape from Butcher Bay (Xbox)

I prefer the Ps2 to the original Xbox, and even though I had many of the exclusive XBox titles (fable, halo etc) none of them could stand up to the Gamecube or Ps2 exclusives. Until I played Chronicles of Riddick that is. Five years later and I have yet to see a PS2 first person shooter that looks as good as this game (Black and Timesplitters 3 come close though) Most games that are based on Movie licences are destined to fail miserably, so extra points to Riddick for breaking the generalisation.

31. Jak 3 (PS2)

Unlike Hollywood, most Gaming trilogies actually get better with each title, and usually the third game is the best (Prince of Persia comes to mind) In fact, Jak shares many parallels with Prince Of Persia. With both series, I disliked the second game because it was too dark and moody for my liking. The thing about Jak is that after playing it, its hard to accept the mediocre graphics of most other PS2 games.

Join me again tomorrow for another ten games

MJ's Top 50 Games of All Time (50 - 41)

Gaming has always been a passion of mine, and i'm very lucky in that I have had the opportunity to play thousands of games in my life.

What follows below is what I consider to be the fifty Best games that Ive played. I have broken it down into batches of ten and I will add a new batch daily. I feel that at the offset I must mention that many big name franchises are not on my list - most notably - Final Fantasy and Gran Turismo. Please bear in mind that this is a personal list. Also, I am primarily a console gamer so WoW etc will not be on the list. I have only included games that I have played so the two big Holiday releases - Uncharted 2 and Assassins Creed 2 will not feature in this list. Perhaps they will be in future lists. Without further ado - Lets start the countdown

50. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (arcade)

There have been many TMNT games over the years, the latest one coinciding with last years movie, but none could capture the franticness and multiplayer goodness (up to four people could play on four different arcade cabinets) that the original offered. At a time when it was cool to say Cowabunga, you couldnt find a more authentic TMNT experience than this

49. Druglord (PDA and PC)

Perhaps the most bare bones of all the games on this list, drug Lord has you training to be an aspiring Drug trafficker. Imagine GTA meets Wall Street and you have a rough idea of what to expect. Drug Lord probably gave me my first taste of economics (who says games arent educational) its also freeware so I recommend you download it and give it a try today

48. Mortal Kombat Trilogy (Nintendo 64)

Ive always been a huge Mortal Kombat fan, owning every title in the franchise (except MK Mythologies Sub Zero because its crap) However, you might be wondering why Ive chosen this version over say, the latest one , MK vs DC, well, its because I think Mortal Kombat works better as a 2D game (2.5 D rather as UMK3 has polygonal characters against a 2D backdrop) Besides, who can forget Sub Zero unmasked or being pummelled to the ground courtesy of Shao Kahns Hammer.

47. Contra (NES)

Up, Up, Down, Down, Left, Right, Left, Right, B, A. The famous Konami Code which was for many of us, the first cheat that we ever used in gaming. But with a game like Contra, it can be overlooked. Contra offered two player simultaneous gaming at a time when it was not common. Also, the lack of skill on behalf of player two (mostly stalling meant certain death for player one) Yes, Contra is responsible for many strained friendships back in the late eighties

46. Resident Evil 4 (gamecube)

I never really got into the Resident evil franchise (I love the movies though) but the biggest problem that I had with the games was the clunky controls. For me, controls make or break a game. All this changed with Resident Evil 4, a game that many critics lauded as game of the Year 3 years ago. Personally I prefer the Gamecube version to the ps2 (even though the ps2 has bonus content) The wii version is said to be the ultimate one, so if you have a wii and find that most games are developed for five year olds, I recommend Resident Evil 4. I loved Resident Evil 5, and it is one of the best ive played this year, but 4 will always be better I guess.


45. Soul Calibur 4 (xbox 360)

I prefer Soul Calibur to Tekken. Last years version was amazing. I dont usually invest too much time in Beat em Ups. But I have clocked well over 60 hours going through Soul Caliburs modes. I even created a Ghandi character complete with Staff/walking stick.

44. Gears of War 2 (xbox 360)

The reason I chose this over the original Gears of War (which I think is the first real taste that gamers had of Next Gen) is that this was more fun. Fleshed out, with good pacing (I wont let the horrible anti climax affect my opinion) And Horde mode which is just unbelievable when you have a mate over.

43. Quake (pc)

It might have been Castle Wolfenstein that pioneered it and Doom that popularised it, but it was Quake that perfected it. 'It' here refers to the genre we now call, the first person Shooter. I have a love hate relationship with Quake. I loved the first one, hated the second. Enjoyed Quake 3 but I dislike Quake 4 on the Xbox 360.

42. Bejewled 2 (PC)

Addictive, easy to pick up and most importantly, fun. Popcap Games hit tile is nothing less than this generations answer to tetris.

41. Snow Bros (Arcade)

Two Snowmen who roll their enemies into snowballs and smash them against walls. Easy enough premise one would think, but add in a dash of franticness in the form of a pumpkin headed villain who haunts you if you take too long and you have a hit on your hands. The game also gave us a boss after every ten stages, which really mixed it up. Two player co op games feature highly on my list as Artificial Intelligence can never replace a human partner.

Check Back tomorrow for the next Ten. leave a comment if you have any fond memories of any of these games.

MJ

Concerning Tennis Balls

Control is an illusion

Its like a tennis ball that you throw into the sea.

You believe it will come back due to the tide and you think that this expectation is control.

But it isnt.

Im against principles if all we use them for is to prove a point. Im for principles if they make us better people for ourselves. Its difficult to balance this. Even the biggest safety net of regret is just a bunch of holes tied together. Thats the thing really, no one looks at it that way. No one considers the hole in the doughnut to be included in the price. Wouldnt be much of a doughnut without that hole.

We are so afraid of love. Sometimes when we give too much of ourselves, we get worried that some of it will spill onto the cobblestone pathways and alleys and be lost forever. I wouldn't want to quantify love. It isnt a bucket of paint that splashes on my shoes when i run towards someone.

Im between reflection and action. Hope is independent of this. But not hate. That is why I feel it is better to have hope. At the same time I am not saying we should be deluded.

To be in love is not to be in control. Love cannot be controlled. Yes, it can be manipulated, twisted and inhibited.. but it can never be controlled.

I think we are all just tennis balls

MJ

The Matrix - The Halaal Version Part Two

(This is a follow up piece to my original Matrix Parody)

A good parody is only as good as its source material, and before I start I have to say without any doubt in my mind that the Matrix Reloaded and the Revolutions are crap movies that lack the poignancy and philosophy of the first. Im not putting this disclaimer out there because i’m worried about the reception of this piece (i write because I love writing), but rather because I knowingly ignore large chunks of the movie as they hold little value to both the canon and often plot, as well as my parody of it.

When we last left Neo, he had accepted his role as the One, and started posing a real threat to the Matrix. Back at Zion, The Grand Mufti requests that Morpheus address everyone. Lets pick it up from here

Morpheus: Zion! Hear me! Testing! Testing! One two. Theres a quarter of a million people here, how are they supposed to hear me when I don’t have a microphone. Bilal, go fetch me the Azaan Mike.

One Two! One Two! AK can you’rl hear me in the back?

Ok, Ok, Bismillah. Zion! Hear Me! The machines have gathered an army, and as I speak that army is drawing nearer to our home. We are in difficult times. We must have sabr, we must prepare for the mac....ok, one second, ND 5463 please remove your vehicle as it is blocking the driveway. ND 5463 White Corrola... where was I? Oh yah yah yah, we are in difficult times my brothers and sisters. We must prepare. Some of us don’t even know how to tune our worldspace to pick up channel Islam, how will we learn how to defeat the machines betah. We must seek knowledge even if we have to go to China, because everything is made there. But I am confidant that we will be ready. Zion! We will Be ready!

Now straighten your saffs and turn your cellphones off. Bilal, make sharp with the Iqamah.



The next morning after Fajr, Neo leaves to visit the Oracle again.



The Oracle: Well, come on. I ain't gonna bite ya. Its Monday, im fasting. Come around here, and let me have a look at ya. My goodness, look at you! You turned out all right, didn't you? Is that a daffa thobe youre wearing? Very Nice. How do you feel?

Neo: I have many questions

The Oracle: Have you tried Wikipedia?

Neo: I don’t trust anything from a website anyone can edit.

The Oracle: Thats the biggest problem with Web 2.0 – anyone can edit, and everyone has an opinion

Neo: But isn’t all this freedom just another form of control? Its an illusion really, created by the machines to make us believe that we have choice. Like DSTV. 60 channels to watch but only one service provider

The Oracle: Keep going.

Neo: So what im saying is, how do I know what is real? How do i find my purpose?

The Oracle: But you already know your purpose Neo, youve seen it in your dreams. The mainframe, Go to it. You will need the Keymaker to enter. He works for the Merovingian. This French Jackass I know. Try befriending him Neo
Neo: But How?

The Oracle: I don’t know, add him on Facebook or something. He owns a Restaurant and a nightclub. Just google it and you’l find the address.

Neo, Trinity and Morpheus visit the Merovingian.

Merovingian: Aha, here he is at last. Neo, the One himself, right? And the legendary Morpheus. And Trinity of course. I have heard so much, you honour me. Please, sit, join us. This is my wife, Persephone. Something to eat? Try this new thing we have, its called Macon – all the rage. You look worried, don’t be, we have Certificate.

Neo: No, thank you.

Merovingian: Yes, of course.

Morpheus: Put some on a doggy bag for me, betah. I’l take it home, i mean.. you know why we are here?

Merovingian: Off course, its no big secret you know, This morning that idiot (points at Neo) tweeted about how he is going to get the keymaker, everybody knows why you are here. Its all cause and effect really. The Oracle calls it Taqdeer but I disagree. I prefer Causality. Let me tell you why. Lets just say its not in a persons taqdeer to have a child, but he makes Dua and his taqdeer changes and he has a son. Fifteen years later his son slaps some guy. Now, was it in that guys taqdeer to get slapped?
Now if you excuse me, I must go

Persephone: Where are you going?

Merovingian: Please, ma chérie, I've told you, we are all victims of causality. I ate that beans bunny and farted, now I must make whudu again. Cause and effect. Au revoir.

Then we have this pointless scene where Neo kisses Persephone, and they have this long drawn out highway action scene and whatnot, but eventually Neo gets to the mainframe ad meets the designer of the Matrix – an anthropomorphic programme called The Architect

Architect to Neo: Welcome, I am the Architect. I designed the Matrix. As you can see behind you, I also have DSTV with all the bouquets.

Neo: Yeah, but only one HD channel

Architect: I CREATED THE MATRIX< NOT WINDOWS FRIKKIN XP. I’M NOT BILL FRIKKIN GATES!

Neo: Why am I here?

The Architect: Well, youre the ‘One’, Shit, I thought you would know

Neo: Why am I here?

Architect: Jesus Christ, is there an echo in here? Whats with the low self esteem man? Have some zam Zam, take two Prozac, and come back next time – the power in the adjacent buildings seem to be out. Must be load shedding. Dam Eskom!

Neo: No! Why am I here?

The Architect: OK. Look, Now youre just pissing me off. I mean, first of all, what makes you so damn special anyway? You don’t even have a beard.

First you get the Hidayat
Then you get the Beard
Then you get the Hoors

Or something like that. I PVR’D Scarface on Movie Magic One. Look, if you ask me one more time about your purpose im going to get mad and throw my remote at you. Then i’l just show Seinfeld reruns and then you’l see how evil the Matrix can be. I’m supposed to give you a choice now and you must choose between saving all the humans or saving your bitch but you irritate the shit out of me so please get the hell out of my Dining room.

Neo chooses to save Trinity and then gets lost in a Subway. Trinity and Morpheus go to the Merovingian in order to get him back.


Trinity: Wheres Neo?

Merovingian: He is stuck with an Indian family at a train station
Trinity: There are Indians in the matrix?

Merovingian: Who do you think handles tech support?

Morpheus: Well, at least he isn’t hungry. Ive never seen an Indian travel without an Ice Cream container

Trinity (opening her coat to reveal a bomb strapped to her chest) Release him or we all die.

Merovingian: Suicide Bomber? How Cliched. Why do you insist on perpetuating these stereotypes. Fine Fine, i’l release your precious saviour. No need to make a mess.

At this point Neo and Trinity realise that Smith (who ive conveniently left out so far) is the biggest threat to the machines so they decide to travel to Machine City in order to negotiate a ceasefire with the Machines. The machines know that Smith will destroy the Matrix so they agree to Neo fighting him in order to preserve their order. Neo fights Smith and allows Smith to assimilate him. This allows Neo to have a massive power surge of some sort and destroy all the Smiths thereby restoring order to the Matrix. Yeah, its impossible for me to islamify this bit so I wont even try. I don’t think its a cop out, I just think this movie is weak! I would have killed of Morpheus but thats just me :P

MJ