Friday, December 15, 2006

Cam whoring with Celebs


so last week my friends coerced me to attend the Muslim 4eva Concert at the city hall. Normally I attend these kinda things because usually we do the sound for it, but this time around Kathrees was doing the sound- not that i'm bitter or anything, I firmly believe that Allaah gives rozi, all it meant was that I had to pay for tickets - Shit! I mean, you can carry on about how the money is going for a good cause and what not, but somehow that doesnt translate that well when i'm fifty rand poorer ( call me scrooge, but i just spent a whole lot on the xbox, so i've been thrifty of late.) So anyway - Masood ( big guy in black shirt standin next to Zain Bhikha) Seraj (Pin uP of Radio Al Ansaar) and I went for the concert. Growing up in this type of environment, means that you kinda know everyone from all the different muslim organisations. Soon you realise, when the same faces pop up everywhere that we really are an incestous little group of elitists ( but i'l save for another blog) Walking towards city hall, the first thing you notice is a huge white marquee (hmm, okay – a concert and a walima (well, I dot know why I was thinking about a walima, but anyway) so we enter the marquee to be greeted by a barrage of friendly and recognizable faces, from the ‘aunties who smile and say “hey betta, you that Azam Khan boy” to the younger crowd, who attend all these events. MMM- a confectionary stall selling fire-balls- gotta buy a pack or two. As we walked towards the entrance, I saw my friend ‘Uncle A.K Jingles’ and flagged him down like a New York taxi. “Uncle A.k”, I said, “Dawud Wharnsby is the shit, can I chat to him?” after taking a moment to decide whether I was being hostile or not, uncle A.k gave me a broad smile and escorted me to the back. Masood and Seraj weren’t about to miss out on this experience and came along. We sidestepped the security terminal and the metal detectors (damn, why did I leave my semi automatic machine gun at home!) and made our way to the back, trying hard not to act like prepubescent teenage girls at a Backstreet Boys concert. All the big pimps were chilling in the back- Zain Bhika, Dawud Wharnsby Ali, well… that was about it in terms of star power- some kids were also in the back, but they could have been props or something for all I know: P

It was heartening to note that even though his albums are globally renowned and that he has worked with top draws like Yusuf Islam and Rayhan, Zain’s first line of conversation hasn’t changed! After hugging me, he stood back and said “Mahomed Junaid, you really have grown since the last time I saw you”. Err – no man, I was the same height earlier this year, the same height when we met in December 2003. Sigh – I don’t blame him though- four Albums of more or less original Nasheeds can leave anyone burnt out. Spoke to Dawud for a bit, and obviously the first thing I asked was “The bubblegum song, (you know the sky is blue like the blue bubblegum, but it prays to Allah), tell me honestly, did you write it as a dare?” He smiled at me knowingly, like a father would smile at his son on his walima, and went into this whole “I find inspiration in nature spiel” the guy is a legend, legend I tell you! A few dirty stares from the organizers signaled to us that we overstayed our welcome, so after posing for a few superfluous shots, we left defiantly from the stage steps. A quick glance at the fifty rand ‘nose-bleed’ seats made me realize that at events like these, I aspire to be bourgeois, purely because they get the best seats, so I grabbed Seraj and without a shred of guilt, sat in the two hundred rand section- prime seating people- five rows from the front. While we waited for the show to start, Seraj got a bit nervous (I guess there are some hari poira’s left in the world, and he said, “MJ, what if this section is sold out”, “well”, I said , with just a smack of know it all ness that people sometimes translate as arrogance, “we’l just move to the 150 rand spot” Sorted. Scanning the ushers, I saw a bunch of familiar faces (here’s the incest bit again) Mak was there, the Quazi, Greaseball, and Akhi. I knew they wouldn’t give a shit if I sat in the two hundred rand section with a fifty rand ticket. Waiting for the show to start, I realized that there is something I need to do with my life before I’m thirty…wash my dog. (Not sure why I thought about that - my mind works in messed up ways).

Two friends were presenting, so I felt a ‘Nazjam I love you’ scream would help shatter any nervousness and stage fright. It appears that his father who was sitting three rows in front of me, thought otherwise. I guess this just egged me on, as I spent the night thinking of catchy things to scream, ‘nazjam 3:16’ and ‘word up to your mazhub’ after the rap being my favourites. First group to come on – Wahid, well, well, well. The guys were good solo, but somehow just didn’t gel as a group. The also reminded me of Nsync in that one chap was the main singer ala Justin Timberlake, while the others just kinda did backing vocals and the boring shit. Not like Backstreet Boys where every member contributed. Zain was cool, and he pleased the crowd with a few popular tracks. Although I must admit, it’s kinda hard distinguishing a few of his songs, as they sound so similar. So you left wondering, was that a pause, or is this a new single. Dawud Wharnsby Ali just did it for me – his quirky quips about converting to Islam, his messages to the youth, his integration of Hadith to explain his lyrics, and his wonderful voice really made it a worthwhile experience. What was quite cute is that he was really getting into the groove of his songs, tapping his feet, moving from side to side, doing a little shuffle. This made some of the more conservative members of the audience move around in their chairs nervously (some of them looked like they wanted to run home immediately and read two rakaats of Salaatul Taubah). we ended the night by taking popular songs and changing the words slightly, like instead off 'you cant take it with you when you go' we changed it to 'you can't get poonani when on haj' - an equally important message. The same with 'pizza in my pocket' to 'condom in my pocket' - We all have to do our bit

24 comments:

SafiUnlimited said...

you couldve organised yourself a free ticket now...
Are you starting a matchmaker's club or something?

SafiUnlimited said...

hmmmm i forgot to say that YOU ARE ALSO SINGLE!!!!!

Elana said...

hi... did any1 eva tell ya ur 1 heck of a photogenic dude? wud luv ta meet ya sumday! how cum u neva show sum teeth???

and wots up wit the SMALLVILLE obsession? bet u hav the hots 4 louis, LOL!

M Junaid said...

hey saf - yeah, i could have got a free ticket, but I wasnt gonna go for it and it was basically a last minute thing- i called masood and asked him if he wanted to play prov evo, he said why dont we crash the concert- i said cool... and yeah, thats how it went down. as for starting a matchmaking thing - Naah - not my thing hey. And yes i am single- how observant of you:P what can I say - the Mj is just not that lucky when it comes to love :) oh well

Hey Elana - i dont show teeth because theres a contract out on my pearly whites by the tooth fairy mafia - this is an international top secret organisation who take teeth frtom little kids and put them into paint cans( dont believe me - shake a paint spraycan- what do you think that rattle is? a marble... dont be naive! as for smallville obsession - i can thank my friend dew for that- she got me hooked. i'm not that obsessed though - i prefer the term mildly addicted. at the moment i'm watching season one of "how i met your mother". after i'm done with that i'm gonna start prison break. oh yeah - no- actually , i havent seen louis on the telly yet - i'v only watched till half way through season 3 - so first i liked chloe, but now i'm a lana guy all the way ( which kinda makes me like every other guy out there i guess)Mj the conformist it is

Dew said...

Nice post Jun.

So Masood is free? I want him..kidding kidding.

Hey...you got your dates in the posts, how'd you do that? I can onky get the times.

Yes, Smallville and the acronym of this blog is owned by me (although I lease it out to Jun on a forever basis.

lol@nazjam:)

Zahera said...

Ya famousss MJ! :-D pfft my only claim to fame is serving Saeed Jaffery noodles which he didnt seem interested in anyhow! Now if it had been Reza Jaffery (phoahhh) i might have offered to serve more than just noodles! *sniggers* i mean erm.. some erm black bean sauce or summat- you get ma drift? :-P

I think Dawud Warnsby is simply amazing :-) he has this very sweet soothing voice, i love listening to him, and actually i quite like Zain Bhikha too! I like the simplicity of their nasheeds.

As for the "You've really grown blah blah," maaann why do they do that!? Its like an auntijee who lasty saw you when you were 5 and then youre re-united 15 years later and she goes, "My god,you've grown soo much." No shit Sherlock! what did you expect in 15 years?! gaah!

Anyway, sounds like you had a great night which is the main thing *goes off singing "mercy like the rain is falling down." * :-D

Elana said...

omg, uv no teeth, i feel so awful, really sorry i askd… pfm

hmmmm, interesting choice... Chloe... either u dig her kick-ass, stop-at-nothing-for-a-story attitude, or if u don’t consider urself lucky in luv mayb ur holding on to something... or could it be someone that was never really meant to be urs, but wot wud a blonde (my natural hair colour, pity its turned black now) white chick know about your complexities??? Besides, u say ur on to lana now so i guess uv moved on...

and oh yes... about Mad Junaid Acting Deranged – wud u say uv really lost it (like Ofelia), or ur just feigning it (like Hamlet)? How'r u playing it, mr chessmaster???

my best friend Payal’s teaching me about Indian culture and cuizine... very exotic i must say. watched that bolly flick wit i think it was Shylock Khan, but wait im sure ther was an ‘r’ in ther somwher... iv got it, Mr Shy Rock Khan (hey, he shares a surname with u... ur name’s written in the stars, way cool!) so the movie’s name was DON and the way uv struck a pose here reminds me of Shy Rock seated in his armchair in the song, ‘MAY WHO DON.’ was that ever ur intention??? plain curious... so if any1 asks ‘U WHO?' would your immediate reaction b 2 show them this foto and claim ‘MAY WHO DON’???

Na-me-stay... PRE-ANCA wannabe

saaleha said...

haha, neat one jiggles.

yep, that floppy-hair, i see it now: polo t-shirt, lipsynching on some snow-powdered cliff, cut scene to busy european hub, cut scene to desert setting, all seamless you dont lose a dance step, still holding that smile (sans teeth of course)....

Dew said...

Elana, the day someone can understand the complexities of Jun is the day Clark will marry Lana.Me thinks its Ofelia, but then that goes for me as well.

Syrock Khan, you sexy dude;)

M Junaid said...

I HAVE ALL MY TEETH:p

Dew - its something i changed in post settings. and yes- the acronym does indeed belong to you. i'l get back to your second comment

Zahera - you tempting me to put up my pictures with sonu nigam and shah ruk etc :P but i wont- vanity waning and all that. i dig shaam except i think some of their stuff is hit and miss.

Elana - i must say- yourname rhymes with a certain person i know, and no its not lana. hmmm - i wonder. anyway - as for the pic- I told zin that i want to sit on the chair because i'm king and he is my royal poet, i think masood's title was bodyguard, jester or royal bitch- that detail is a bit hazey right now

Saals - i dont see myself as bollywood material- have you seen them recently - its like they are pumping steroids into the water or something

dew - nothing complex about me - i dont think its ofelia, neither do i see myself as hamlet. beacuse while there is method in his madness - my madness- well - i'l post on it. truth is - clark and lana never get married. they just had a fling and moved on.

Zahera said...

Ok well another claim to fame then- i also served dinner to shaam and had dinner with them! Lovely bunch of brother mashAllah and what amazing voices! All of them :-D Oohhh ive encountered more celebs than i thought! Oh btw- have i mentioned that i also met John Abraham and have his autograph? it says "Dear Zahera, LOVE John." *cough* i was in heaveeenn *drooll*

Sonu Nigam? lolll.. please MJ- keep those to yourself! ;-)

bibi-aisha said...

Nw girls,lets nt get junaid all shy.but yeah,he was lookin v handsum that nite,mashallah. Dawud is definitly the coolest nasheed artist.but junaid,u always said its unfair only aunties get 2play matchmaker.n playin chacha givs u chance to check out the fresh meat:-)

!Joe! said...

Lovely, a pic for the Post!
Heard you were lauded as the next Arjun Rampal...whoever that is. Bet you'd need some acting classes though ;) Oh wait, it's Bollywood...
NazJam must've been so embarrassed:D there he is, trying to do his thing on stage, and who comes to steal his glory? None other than "Arjun"...:)
Nice to know Dawud Wharnsby is moving to his own beat...but I thought that would've made people a little less stiff. Oh, well, not everyone can groove like The Wharnsby...
Zain must've been talking about your hair...he also thought you were "Arjun."
Oh, as for seeing people you know at these events...it's made me a recluse/hermit/person who isolates herself...
I thought Masood was taken...he's in demand, he is. Why have I never taken him up on his many proposals...I ignored him when he called me "honey"...damn you, Joe, damn you! :(

!Joe! said...

oh, you look dashing in this pic :) Intense eyes. Were you channelling "Arjun Energy" when you posed? :D Just a thought...

!Joe! said...

oh, wait, should that be "Arjun-ergy"? Sorry, I'll stop now...

Serina said...

Ok... I dont know who any of those people are.

But you lokk totally hot in that pic. Youre a real cutie.

Zahera said...

looolll Joe you crack me up! :-D
MJ- ever considered a haircut? *hhmm wonders what he'd look like* i mean heck, the girls seem to be swooning over your sweeping hair so dont go about chopping it on my account :-P

M Junaid said...

Arjun Rampal - hmm - i totally doubt it- i met the guy in 2001 i think - i'd definately be getting a whole lot more 'ass' if i looked like him- instead, i'm left chasing after a chick who told me no, more times than the Americans bombed residential areas in Baghdad- when will you learn MJ, when will you learn!. ive got stress pimples- so hope they go way within the next month. people say i look like zayed khan a bit- i dont see it, tazz said i used to look like akshay kumar when my hair was shorter - again - i dont see it. i think i look like an MJ (not michael jackson, Montel Jordan, michael jordan or mary jane mind you.

Zahera - i like medium length hair- it keeps my neck warm ( i swirl my hair at times (using a beanie, not stocking) help- i'm turning metrosexual :P

Zahera said...

heheheheeheheh *giggles like a schoolgirl* im sorry, just the thought of you "swirling" your hair is like ya know... sooo Imraan (and i dont mean Hashmi this time) :-P loll

Muhammad said...

NOw That is Classic. Pure Classic. I'm thiking of doing the stage gig too btw... might see me MC;'ing at the souk :P Blahhh... such utter drabness.. I want to swear on stage and start fights :)

M.

Serina said...

Hmm.... you forgot Mark Jindrak and Milla Jovovich

Dew said...

MJ Looks like Milla? :O

masood said...

Haha, yes i was honoured to pose with a Bollywood star and a Muslim pop idol!

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