Concerning Cyanide

I enjoy taking Cyanide and Happiness comics and adding new text to it. (it first started with KOTP stuff, but then I expanded to Muslim stuff. I mostly do this because I dont have any graphic design expertise whatsoever (Life of an aspiring copywriter I guess)

Let me know if you cant read the text, i'l post it up under it. I think if you click on the picture it'l open up on a new page.. (hopefully)

Adapted from Cyanide and happiness.

Concerning Snack Platters

There is one thing that we cannot live without, and obviously this one thing changes from person to person. For me, that one thing is Coke. I can live without my cellphone and my car and my little blue cheapie spur mints but life will be almost impossible without coke. And life without pleasure is not life at all. I was going through some of the pics taken yesterday at Shaista's birthday party and I found one of me staring affectionately at a can of coke I was drinking. Not sure who took the pic (I think it was saffiya) I find immense joy in the smaller things in life. One day it might come back and hurt me in the form of a failed kidney or something but right now its all good.

The party was held at Nescafe in Musgrave. So, what’s the most important thing to MJ when he goes out? That’s right - the food.. So - does Nescafe deliver?

NO!

Ok, I really don’t want people to get the idea that I am extremely fussy and nothing ever pleases me or anything. I love Nandos, I love KFC, I love chicken Licken , I love Spur, I love Bombay to Beirut (sometimes) I love Mochachos, Subway... man, I love to eat. So when I bitch about something you know it has to be bad.

So - for starters we had the snack platter - the idea behind this was really good, but the food itself - yeuck! The Haloumi and chips were tasty. The Steak Riblets however were too rubbery and had a strong meat smell. so did the steak kebabs. The chicken Sosaties fared better but I know many places that serve better (Kikis comes to mind). Also, the dips that accompanied the platter were just weak. Nothing is worse than going to an upmarket joint and getting sauce that you have lying in your fridge. Stuff like Wellingtons Sweet Chilli Sauce . Thats why I like the Buffalo wings at Spur so much - because they serve it with two sauces that you wont find anywhere else (I’m still looking for a place that sells the sauce Spur use - its called Durky Sauce)

Next up we had a Chicken and Feta Pizza with Peppadews. That wasnt too bad. Had a caminettos feel to it. Nothing I'd drive to Musgrave to buy though (I drive to Scooters for their double salami Pizza) I didnt get a chance to try the Tramezzini but the chick opposite me ( I forgot her name) had one bite and immediately put it down so it couldn’t have been that good. The Chicken Arabiata was slightly better, as it had a decent 'pungenticity' (yeah, I just made that up) but Caminettos does it better at half the price. Finally, the Alfredo. hmmmm. How do I describe the Alfredo. I took a bite of it, and immediately this chick looks at me and says 'You're going to blog about it, aren’t you?' I guess its like buying a can of coke at Spar as opposed to buying it at the Hilton hotel. Same product, same taste, same gaseous burp... huge discrepancy in price. But I guess you have to pay the rent.

Having said all this about the food, I still maintain that Nescafe is a very good venue for a first date. It leaves a good impression to the chick you’re trying to impress. Lets just hope that she burnt all her tastebuds in a freak GHD accident beforehand and it'll all go well.

MJ

I cant stop saying Kurt Wagner in a funny accent.

I provided a link to my top fifty games under my chatbox - i'l update it as I update the list (look out for 30 -21 tomorrow)

Concerning Assuagement

I really like the Great ones adaptation of that crappy Umbrella song so heres a homage to you oh knifing king

Hey There Jameelah

Sung to the Tune of Hey There Delilah by Plain White T's

Hey there Jameelah

What's it like in Baghdad City?

I'm a thousand miles away

But girl, tonight I feel so shitty

Yes I do

The whole world faced its back towards you

I swear it's true

Hey there Jameelah

Don't you worry about the ordnance

and the cluster bombs are only

for your freedom I assure you

Close your eyes

the threat of WMD’s were our disguise

to capitalize

Oh it's oil I want to see

Oh it's oil I want to see
Oh it's oil I want to see

Oh it's oil I want to see

Oil I want to see

Hey there Jameelah

I know times are getting hard

But just believe me, girl

Someday the U.N will step right in and

We'll have it good

We'll have the safety we knew we would

Our war is good

Hey there Jameelah

I've got so much left to do

Invade Iran, Sudan and the East

To give them democracy

Liberate them all

Even more evil dictators will fall

We'd have it all

Oh it's oil I want to see

Oh it's oil I want to see

Oh it's oil I want to see

Oh it's oil I want to see

A thousand miles seems pretty far

But we’ve got tanks and armoured cars

We’d just nuke you if we had no other way

The world would all be sick of us

and we'll just laugh along because we know

That none of them could stop our show

Jameelah I can promise you

That by the time we get through

The world will never ever be the same

And we’re to blame

Hey there Jameelah

You be good and don't you diss me

Two more years and Iraq will self destruct

And We'll be making history like we do

You'll know it's all cause of GW2

We can do whatever we want to

Hey there Jameelah here's to you

This one's for you

Oh it's oil I want to see

Oh it's oil I want to see

Oh it's oil I want to see

Oh it's oil I want to see

Oil I want to see

MJ

Concerning First Years

Had a discussion with the first years on 'Media and Sport' yesterday. Well, actually it was on the 'Construction of sporting personalities in the South African Media'. I wrote down three names on the board - Carlos Alberto P, Hansie and Luke Watson and I asked them to break into groups and discuss one of them. My original lecture was going to be on Media legislation pre and post democracy but the projector and I seemed to be at odds. I lost this round, but four years of lecturing has taught me to always have a backup plan.

I find that the best way to teach media studies is to use examples that the students can relate to. So when I do a lecture on say Media coverage of the war in Iraq, when I handle the anti war movement I will play songs that the students know. I think the key element for being a media student is to be critical of any text that you come across. Herein lies the problem. Sometimes you become so critical that you lose touch with 'popular taste'(Archtype pointed this out when he disagreed with my gaming preferences - wait till you see my list on mydl tonight - theres no final fantasy there at all)

MJ

Concerning Adaptations

My taste in music is becoming increasingly eclectic. Ive always been a bit anti mainstream (the biggest reason why I don't listen to radio) but nowadays I find myself listening to Turkish and Scottish music, interspersed with resistance stuff (mostly Immortal Technique and Iron sheik) My english music library is extremely outdated - I mean, the latest thing I have is Nelly Furtado Say it right, so I decided to listen to the U.K top 40. What I noticed is that there is a shit load of Christmas inspired songs (well, it was the December edition i downloaded)

This reminded me of an episode of south park where Cartman took regular songs and change them into Christian rock songs by adding key words like 'Jesus'. So, what if I do that but make Muslim versions of pop songs... I mean, whats the big deal - Naat reciters mercilessly steal Bollywood tunes . Here's two I did last year, and some new ones - you're welcome to add some in the comments page

My Zikr brings all the men to the mosque,
and they're like,its better than yours,
damn right its better than yours,
I can teach you, but I have to charge

Aint nothin but a jihad, baaaaabay!
Two loced out arabs so wer'e craaaaazay!
72 virgins that waaaaaaits me!
Unfadable, so please dont try to fade this [hell yeah]

last Eid, I gave you my heart

but the very next day, you gave a talaq

This year, to save me from tears

I'm getting a muta marriage

i'm bringing Lillah back, yeah

you other NGO's dont know how to act, yeah

so dig in deep, go ahead and break that bank

but no hooplang baby, this aint no prank

You could be tabligh

and I wont know

but you werent tablighi the day you stood up for

all the jalebi that you wish you had not ate

feels haraam like the music in your head

now i need an anti barelwi song (because i'm impartial like that)

why did you have to go and make things so complicated

Ive seen the way you go to the mazaar, gets me frustrated

life like this,

you just read, and you grow and you shave and you fold and you turn it into

honestly, promise me you'll never find me I'm never gonna find you sinning

will think of more after lunch

MJ

the songs parodied are

Milkshake - Kellis

Aint Nuthing but a G Thing - Snoop Dogg

Last Christmas - Wham

Sexy Back -- Justin Timberlake

You could be happy - Snow Patrol

Complicated - Avril Lavigne