Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Random Status Updates (May - July 2010)

So I decided to save some of my status updates in case I ever write a book or something and I need to fill in those spaces where Serverus Snape used to write all his stuff in his potions book. Serverus was a Bidat'i of note. Always trying to innovate and change the textual guidelines. Anyway - I thought I'd capture a few updates from the past six months. But I update too often, so this is May to July Some of them are contextual (World Cup etc)

Maafbusters, the new show on discovery channel - Join us as we use investigative questions like 'why' and 'what for' to test the validity and sincerity of maafs.


Nowhere on this bag of peas does it state that it can be used as a princess verifier.


The Biggest Loser Ethiopia: Now thats a marketing fail


What do you do when the wife is angry with you? Make muff


Mwah should not be used as a replacement for a fullstop.


Nike should not sponsor suicide hotlines


I have no interest in Islamic banking


My butter salt has an anti caking agent. Your mum should have put some in your milk formula.


Watching captain Planet. Its like an eco friendly Benetton advert.


Bryan Adams is touring South Africa. You better attend, because everything he does, he does it FOR YOU!


I think all the people who failed the home affairs entrance exam are now working the suncoast confectionery counter


Lahm is so short, if his kit was yellow he'd look like a Mcdonalds player escort


The French players probably wish they didn't ban the niqab in France.


I asked the Mcdonalds cashier to give me a woody. They asked me to leave. Apparently Mcdonalds isn't doing a toy story happy meal.


The only time the Port Elizabeth stadium is full is when i'm playing xbox.


The cameramen only focus on the rabid crazy eyed looking fans. I think they use the same guys to take pictures at all the Muslim rallies.


Saw and The City. Now thats a movie collaboration I'd watch


Dear Japanese Tourists. It is safe to remove the face masks. Its not the same SARS you have back home


Was looking for a hot piece of ass. Spur waitress recommended Tikka Chargrilled rump.


"Trust pink. Forget stains". That just sounds wrong.


Pawpaw is like Kryptonite for MJ


Birthdays only come once a year. Unless you like Spur ice cream.


Nothing is expired if you own a permanent marker


I think final destination 2 did for log trucks what jaws did for peoples fear of sharks.


'Insha Allah' now means 'I dont want to attend but I also dont want to hurt your feelings and say no'.


I dont know how many people are really born again and how many people just like fish


Most of the time when i write gtg i don't really HAVE to go.


Its not that Muslim countries suck at football, they are all just afraid of paying zakaat for that trophy.


I wanted to live in a world with dinosaurs. Then I watched Jurassic Park.


Facebook should change the 'people you may know' list to 'random people with lots of mutual friends'


Watched 'Men who stare at Goats'. Disappointed because I thought it was about Al Qaeda. I'm sure Bin Laden must have been disappointed when he watched Big Bang Theory.


I love coke, but I hardly have it as a status update because i'm afraid of typos.


my beard has not improved my cricket


I just want a mario t shirt without all that baby milo shit on it.


Ents are the worst husbands in middle earth


Possible SAHUC Headline, "Don't come here with your price-fixing tendencies. This is a revolutionary Hajj. Bloody Agent!


Just passed a store called bs creations. Sounds like they have Low self esteem issues.


Every date with a purdah chick is a blind date



MJ