Friday, January 22, 2010

Concerning Age

I dont know why people ask me for relationship advice. Seriously. The last relationship I had ended in 2003. I'm like the last person you should ask for relationship advice. Well, second last really - Chris Brown takes the honours for this one. Asking me about relationships is like asking Gandhi for bodybuilding tips.

So this guy asks me if age is a big deal. And my reply is - "well, it depends really". So I asked him what the age gap is like - I dont believe in that 'age is just a number' cliche - tell that to your parole officer. He is like, "ten years". See, it depends. I mean, if he is 35, and she is 25 - then I dont see a problem really. But if he's 18...

Another question I sometimes get is "Shes the love of my life, I'd die for her, but her father wont let me marry her". Off course he wont you asshole, you are both sixteen. Finish Matric at least - spend three months in your daddy's shop and then try again. Until then - do your calculus homework.

And now everyone is falling in love online. Mxit romance and facebook flings and what not. "MJ - this chick I like flirts with guys on her wall". I'm like "Dude, its facebook - most chicks act slutty on facebook. Its just the nature of this platform. BTW, she mwah'ed me on my wall about two hours ago and im not even into her. Does your mum have facebook?"

And its not just the guys that are misguided into thinking I give a shit - Dont get me started on the sententious girls. And some are conniving as well. Lets forget about the horrible bitches in my mwah generation post. I'm talking about the girls who act all confused like Bella from twilight. She deserves a slap, and you deserve two because you are not a fictional character from the mind of an insane Mormon writer. They say you cant have your cake and eat. I say - have your cake. Stuff your face with it. but have one at a time. Dont lead some poor sap on. its just a vicious cycle really. Dont play two guys against each other as well. If you make it into a competition, all you become is a little prize. Stop being a bloody trinket!

Some people have this laugh reflex. They'l make themselves vulnerable by taking a leap and telling someone how they feel, and after they get shot down they retort..."aah just kidding, lol!" and kinda brush it off. I'm not like that. i can understand why people would do that - you struck out and you want to salvage what you had before. But once you cross that line you cant take it back. Sure, the other person might laugh it off but in their heart they know that the playing field has shifted slightly. This however is a generalisation. Sometimes friendships are actually strengthened. Not all the time, but sometimes.

I dont know why we complicate shit. Just be true to each other and see what happens. But what do I know, i'm just the guy giving shitty advice :)


I have set up a formspring account because monkey see monkey do, so swing by and ask me shit.


Khadija said...

I read, I'm commenting but I draw the line at public displays of affection. Even for MJ. :P

Americanising Desi said...

i so love khaidja's comment!