Monday, June 15, 2009

Zawjati

I have been thinking alot about marriage recently.

I think 27 is a good age for me to get married. Thats a few months away.

I wouldnt want a long drawn out engagement. Sure i'l need a few months to figure out whether we are compatible or not, but I dont want to spend two years with an engagement watch that i'l keep in my pocket everytime i walk through town.

Ive always thought of myself as an easy going guy, but as I type this I see that i'm a bit more fussy than I first realised. With that in mind - heres my checklist for what I want in a wife.

  • She must be a Muslim. I'm not really into the whole 'people of the book' stuff.
  • She must not smoke
  • I dont like bullets for this post - makes everything seem so abrupt
She can work if she wants to, or if she wants me to be the sole breadwinner, I am comfortable with that. In fact - I would prefer if she worked a bit at first. It will be hard in this current economic climate to live a comfortable lifestyle on one salary. However, when we have kids I would like her to cut back her hours so that she can be there for them. I wouldnt want my child to be raised by someone else but then again - this all depends on the circumstances at the time.

She must dress modestly in public. Mini skirts are a no no. She can walk naked in the house, and even wear those long flowy dresses with the big slits and what not. But not in public.

Hijab (or rather - the headscarf...hijab is a bit misleading I think because for me it encompasses modesty in its totality) is a personal thing and it'l be up to her whether she wants to wear a scarf or not.

She must be educated. A tertiary education. I need someone I can have a conversation with. About politics, current affairs, interpretation and movies.

She must not be materialistic. I will provide for her to the best of my ability, and I will try my hardest to make sure that she is never short of anything she desires, but I will not kill myself and take out a loan so that she can have a forty thousand rand coat.

She must not like Cre Cola.

I want someone who will accompany me when I go for lectures or meetings or slideshows and stuff.

I will be JunaidMammoo for her nieces and nephews and treat them like my own, so I expect her to be the same for mine.

She must be wild in the bedroom. This is very very important for me.

She must know that she is my sakeenah and the coolness of my eyes.

I want someone who will strengthen my iman. Who will guide me when I need guidance, who will remind me when I need reminding, and who will join me when im praying.

I think im quite romantic so i wouldnt want anyone cold and uncaring.

She must have a sense of humour. Its important. A 'No worries' attitude is also great - but I have enough of that for both of us.

I dont know whether I can love someone who listens to RnB.


I'm definitely going to add to this post.

MJ