Monday, December 15, 2008

Concerning Infidelity

How do you know if your wife is cheating on you?

You come home and the toilet seat is up.

How do you know if your wife is cheating on you with a Muslim?

You come home and there is a bottle of water next to the toilet.


How do you know if your wife is cheating on you with Narend Singh?

She says shes going out shopping and returns two minutes later

How do you know your wife is cheating on you with The Pope?

The Catholic Church relaxes its Laws on Abortion.

How do you know if your wife is cheating on you with a Barelwi?

She starts smelling like Rose water.

How do you know if your wife is cheating on you with Gandhi?

She starts complaining about the price of Salt

How do you know if your wife is cheating on you with the Milkman?

You notice BadamDood and Sarbat every night with your supper.

How do you know you wife is cheating on you with some kid on mxit?

When you ask her for sex she says lol. brb and then turns over and sleeps. When you ask her what happened in the morning, she shrugs and says DC.

How do you know your wife is cheating on you with an Xbox addict?

When the sex is good she gives you 20 achievement points.

MJ

48 comments:

Saaleha Bamjee-Mayet said...

Lame offering:
How do you know if your wife is cheating on you with MJ?
She's suddenly concerned about everything around her, and speaks in russian-reversals.

(This is not an aspersion against your good character and moral code.)

Azra said...

LOL...ok my pathetic attempt...

How do you know your wife is cheating on you with MJ? Everything is suddenly Fucking Awesome :D

M Junaid said...

how do you know your wife is cheating on you with MJ?

she spends more time on the internet then in the bedroom

M Junaid said...

This is fun - we should do a whole bunch of blogger related 'lame jokes'


how do you know your wife is cheating on you with saaleha?

she starts using big words like anacoluthon during dinner conversation

M Junaid said...

lame one

how do you know if your wife is cheating on you with azra?

You find her body floating up river. Azra hates cheaters.

M Junaid said...

lame one

how do you know if your wife is cheating on you with Joe?

she starts humming Robbie Williams songs all the frikkin time

Azra said...

LOL...You're right, it is fun :)

How do you know your wife is cheating on you with Killa?
He blogged about it, titled "Theory of Cheating"

How do you know your wife is cheating on you with OH?
He wrote a book about it called "The rainbow has no bitch"

How do you know your wife is cheating on you with Nooj?
She Eviscerates her in an epic poem

M Junaid said...

How do you know if your wife has been cheating on you with Charmed?

Her cooking improves drastically

M Junaid said...

How do you know your wife is cheating on you with MJ?

She starts recieving hatemail from anonymous pricks

M Junaid said...

how do you know that your wife is cheating on you with 'Blogger Rebirth (antonio)

She gets sick more often, and is always baking chocolate eclairs.

M Junaid said...

How do you know your wife is cheating on you with Kay?

In the middle of the night she wakes up in a shock and starts quoting Gibran

M Junaid said...

how do you know your wife is cheating on you with Work in Progress?

You find out a copy of the Economist in your postbox every week.

Azra said...

How do you know if your wife is cheating on you with The Cullinary Queen?
She's suddenly an expert on how to plan a budget wedding.

How do you know your wife is cheating on you with Saaleha?
She gets her own website with her name.com

How do you know if your wife is cheating on you with Prixie?
She'd got chocolate stains on her clothes and around her mouth.

How do you now if your wife is cheating on you with Safiyyah?
She's got a whole new designer wardrobe bought on a shoestring budget.

Sofi said...

How do you know your wife is cheating on you with Zesty?

She starts *sprinkling some happy stuff around you :D * during meal times and she also develops stark raving mad tendencies.

Azra said...

How do you know your wife is cheating on you with Waseem?

She starts calculating how many people are in her Monkeysphere.

Azra said...

LOL @ Sofi...that Zesty one is spot on :D

M Junaid said...

you are on a roll :D

Sofi said...

Thanks Azra..i quite like yours too but wont mention which in particular :P

Nafisa said...

but but... my food is always good, who would know the difference :P hahaa

Antonio.....The Anonymous Blogger said...

Chocolate Eclairs.....I like it!!!

Did I ever tell you the one where I met a chick and the second time we met she brought along chocolate eclairs?

Sofi said...

emmy wehre r u??

and where is the one u were going to do for me. i have given you long enough. typecast me now now nowwww!

KiLLa said...

Edge one is bril.. lol

KiLLa said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
KiLLa said...

Well im bored...And wont mock everyonee.. Assoles take things too personal.. But will mock the author and myself..

How do you know if your wife is cheating on you with MJ?
She knows which stage u on in Metal Gear Solid 4..


How do you know if your wife is cheating on you with KiLLa?
She knows what a forum is..


How douknow ifyour wife is in a 3some with MJ and KiLLa?
She'd ask how to assign controller 3..


How do you know if your wife is cheating on you with KiLLa?
She speaks in code..


How douknow ifyour wife is in a 3some with MJ and KiLLa?
She referes to it as a TRILOGY


How do you know if your wife is cheating on you with MJ?
She asks if u CONCERNed

KiLLa said...

How do you know your wife is cheating on you with KiLLa?
She will laze and expect you to do all the work..

How do you know your wife is cheating on you with MJ?
She'll illustrate it in a Cyanide and Happiness captioned with her initials at the end..

(i doubt you'll mind)
How do you know your husbandis cheating on you with Salz?
He will read a book without pics before going to bed

KiLLa said...

How do you know if your husband is cheating on you with Shafs?
He quotes Rumi..

KiLLa said...

@Shafs - Make me maaf

KimyaShafinaaz said...

aw killa! i got no come back for that...lol.. im kinda chuffed, dude!

KimyaShafinaaz said...

how do you know your wife is cheatin on u with MJ?

she drinks coke all day; and asks YOU to make pancakes just cos MJ's the pancake hero on the block

how do you know your wifes cheatin on u with Killa?

hmm, i hate to say this, but you'll never know! thats wat makes him good at his job :P

M Junaid said...

how do you know your wife is cheating on you with Killa?

She stops wearing Mendhi on Eid day

M Junaid said...

How do you know your wife is cheating on you with kimya?

she wont stop sighing!

M Junaid said...

How do you know if your wife is cheating on you with both MJ and Killa?

you spend three hours at incredible connection because she cant decide whether to buy you pro evo or fifa

M Junaid said...

How do you know your wife is cheating on you with noorjehaan?

She spends more time at the shooting range than you

Waseem said...

How do you know your wife is cheating on you with Waseem?
She has delusions of grandeur.

How do you know your wife is cheating on you with MJ?
Your son shuns bottled milk for Coke (he still crazy about breast milk though)

KimyaShafinaaz said...

sigh

KimyaShafinaaz said...

how do u kno your wifes cheating on u wif QD?

shes covered in glitter and can't stop smiling!

how do u kno your wifes cheating on u wif azra?

she says shes going to her mothers, but shes packed to go to some island for the holidays...

Sofi said...

i'm walking on icy territory here:

How do you know your wife is cheating on you with Kimya?

She starts sprouting metaphors/similies in every sentence she speaks..and she's able to describe the beauty of a " full stop " quite beauitfully...

How do you know your wife is cheating on you with Sofi?

She breaks out in romantic hindi love songs in the middle of watching/reading the News..

Azra said...

LOL LOL

How do you know your wife is cheating on you with Kimya?
Everything in life suddenly has an energy to it :D

How do you know your wife is cheating on you with Sofi?
She's suddenly obsessed with the purple choc-nut-caramel Quality Street sweet :D

Sofi said...

How do you know your wife is cheating on you with Azra?

She suddenly develops an aching desire to visit the UK for some retail therapy..

How do you know your wife is cheating on you with MJ?

She suddenly stops during praying Isha for a quick dash to the toilet to purify her thoughts again...hehe

KimyaShafinaaz said...

the beauty of a fullstop hey? sofi.. if u were a guy, id marry u! sho schweet!

lol. lol. aw azra... the energies are undulating. always.

Sofi said...

Kimya: if you had proposed, i wouldnt have refused. this is the best offer i have had all year. no joke!!

Work in Progress said...

Awesome post, u guys r pretty creative :)

Here goes my less imaginative attempt...

How do u know ur wife is cheating on u with MJ?
Her answer to everything is Wikipedia.

How do u know ur wife is cheating on u with MJ?
She could write a book on the popcorn flavours at the movies.

How do u know ur wife is cheating on u with Saaleha?
She starts leaving u condundrums on the bathroom mirror.

How do u know ur wife is cheating on u with Nooj?
She analyses ur behaviour and concludes that u have unbridled agression behind a composed smiley exterior. (Sorry, couldn't resist that one)

How do u know ur wife is cheating on u with Azra?
She makes a list of the twelve types of cheaters together with "hypothetical" scenarios to illustrate their behaviour.

How do u know ur wife is cheating on u with Killa?
She randomly yells out "four" so u can get out of her way.

How do u know ur wife is cheating on u with WIP?
U find her glued to CNBCA/summit on a Friday night.

KiLLa said...

@WIP - I hit straight :P

r said...

how do you know your wife's cheating on you with MJ? She starts demanding spicy pasta and stares at the lava lamp all night.

szar said...

how do you know your husband is cheating on you with mj?

your keyboard will have sticky keys and the entire cybershag chat log will be in multiple posts on his blog.

apologies. that sounded so much better in my head.

seher's shenanigans said...

i will surel wanna do a Concerning Man Infidelity. This aint it yet MJ! ;)

M Junaid said...

how do you know your wife is cheating on you with Nooj?

when you break a dish she points her finger at you and mutters avada kedavra

M Junaid said...

this was fun