Sunday, June 08, 2008

Concerning Facebook

Following The Great Ones List, Here are ten things I hate about facebook. I was guilty of at least one before (Back in May last year when it was just starting to take off) but I have since repented (Not in a religious sense now) I'm not judging anyone. This, like everythig else on my blog are merely my concerns.


1. Invites for stupid Applications


I worked out that Facebook has about 28000 applications. The vast majority of which suck. Yet I am constantly being invited for dumb applications, most of which dont even make sense. I mean 'Take this quiz to see what colour eyes you have'. Have you heard of a mirror? No need to take a quiz for that one sunshine. Heres another one - 'what type of crap are you?' Seriously now. There are probably ten apps that add something to the experience, thats it.


2. Random Invites


If there is one thing that Facebook can be blamed for is totally destroying the concept of 'friends'. I get invites from someone in America, so I ask them, 'do we know each other?' and they're like 'Well, our surnames are the same so I thought I'd invite you. Do you know how often I get this! My surname is Khan, thats a pretty common surname, but sharing a surname isnt what I'd call 'common interests'. In that case I should accept invitations from people who wear size ten shoes as well. Hey hey - isnt that something we share in common as well? Yes, I have many friends who I have met over the internet, and I'm always keen for new friends but you cant just go about randomly inviting people. Create a Rapport or something first and take it from there.

3. People who think their friend list is an indication of actual Popularity


This chap was boasting to me that his friend list is sitting at 1200 people. Popular guy you would think, maybe he should run for president. So I gave him the benefit of the doubt until I got few messages from my friends asking 'who the hell is this guy who just invited me?' Random Invite Alert - You cant just go around inviting every single person on someones lists. When did opposable thumbs become a dealmaker? Whats the use of having scores of facebook friends if you cant find four to carry your janaaza when you drop dead from the sheer weight of Indifference. Funny how it works hey - In real life these people would just be strangers, but all we need these days is an Internet connection.


4. People who create stupid groups


You could probably pleasure your neighbours dog, I mean, you are equipped for it, but just because you can do something doesn't mean you have to. You can stick your finger into a blender as well, but I dont recommend it. Similarly, while you can create a group for just about anything, why would you want to? Maybe i'm being harsh - if it makes you happy, create a bunch off dumb groups - but dont invite me to them. I dont care if you think Goldfish make better lovers than Guppies or any bullshit like that - they are frikkin fish dammit.


5. People with Constant Lovey Dovey/ Suicidal Status Messages


Jesus Christ - have you heard of subtlety? I might be jaded, but I doubt i'm the only one who doesn't like this? Notice I put a backslash between the two types. Both are irritating. The occasional Goth/emo status update is cool - we all go through moments like that, but to have nothing but morbidness in your status updates screams 'Attention seeker'.


6. People who Invite Celebrities as facebook Friends


Heres another thing I dont get - unless you have met the Celebrity, or have had some type of correspondence with them (Autographed Pics dont count) They arent your friend. And having them on your List doesnt make you cooler. Rowan Atkinson doesn't give a crap about you. Inviting Celebrities to raise your coolness is gay. Dont be Gay!


7. Getting tagged in pics without your consent


Here's something that baffles me. If I want to tag myself in someones pic I have to wait for their permission before the tag is allowed, but anyone uploading a pic can tag me in it and it'l appear on all the mini feeds before Ive even seen it. Thats bullshit.


8. Funwalls and Superwalls


This is the same shit you get in Forwarded messages and spam. Why would you want it at all.


9. Facebook makes stalking easier


We've all done this at one point or the other- Spied on our Significant Other or checked up on our ex to see who they flirt with. Paranoia will eat you up inside. If you broke up - Let it go. I doubt anything you read is going to cheer you up, unless you notice that they've joined a Church somewhere, taking vows of celibacy and do nothing but pine for you. And if they did - what are they doing on Facebook?


10. People whose Profile Pages slow down South Africas Internet


Heres a tip - if you are one of the offenders, trim some of the bullshit apps that you have on your profile. Facebook eats bandwidth like an Mj eats buffalo wings, and the last thing I want is my cap being blown as I wait three minutes for your page to load. And thats not all, because after it loads, I have to navigate through all the shit to find your wall. Treat these apps like Pubic hair - keep it to a bare minimum because no one is interested in that part anyway.


MJ
I did a post last year on Indians on facebook. Here is the link for any new readers who might be interested

7 comments:

The Organ Harvester said...

you had to mention that. you hater. well i think my privacy setting are adjusted. i think.
fuck facebook. like you said, facebook killed the blogging star.

Nafisa said...

I agree with every reason you stated and will never ever understand why people have super/fun walls! I dont go into profiles that have more than about 20 applications... I eventually use m.facebook to write on their walls.
Also, why do people in relationships need to sexy flirt etc with strangers?
I'm so sick of getting strangers inviting me (some are very persistant that I'm forced to send a message to say stop), I've since changed my privacy settings so only my friends can see my pic.
I love the limited profile option :)

Mohamed Karolia said...

Love the list. I must admit i was a facebookaholic when it first started but the novelty has faded away thankfully. I particularly hate the group invites.

safiyyamk said...

actually mj you can tag yourself in the pictures that other people put up.. i did it a few weekes ago...

bb_aisha said...

i'm a hypocrite. i chastised my sisters for all their apps, then added a few 'fun' apps. but i certainly will not stoop to the level of fun walls & the like

Fatima said...

To stalk is fun-but it's more fun to block the stalker! Yay privacy settings! I hate millions of crazy invitations of 'friends for sale' and others.

Zahera said...

My mum asked my sister to show her facebook so she could check up on all my 30 something cousins who seem to think theyre 14 :-/ needless to say she was not impressed although it did give her a good laugh (then again, my mum is easily amused... must run in the family) :-D