Monday, April 07, 2008

Concerning Kings 2

It all began on a somewhat cloudy Saturday afternoon. First impressions are lasting they say - boy did the bouquet of flowers throw me off. Sensing my slight apprehension, I was assured that they were for a mutual friend, and not yours truly. (perhaps i should have suited up in the afternoon).


Pick up Haamish from the hotel

He spent the morning soliciting minors and harassing security personnel at the Chatsworth Centre (the last time Ive been there, KFC rounders were only R 5.70 - MJ's memory is intrinsically linked to food)


Find the Kapade residence in Parlock.

For some reason, people in parlock like nothing better than standing by their postboxes and chatting to neighbours. Friendly place me thinks, although I don't think I could live there (not that I have anything against it) I would never take a chick to Parlock though - just driving to the Kapade house I passed five people I know (standing by their postboxes!) Its like what you see in the the movies when the kid is excited because they are getting something from the UPS man.


The Kapades threw a royal ball for us, and I wasted little time stuffing my face with nachos, cakes and this weird puri patha casserole thing (staying alone at home has its disadvantages). Mummy Kapade said that she reads my blog regularly (which is kinda disturbing as I use profanity and talk about boobs all the time) Daddy Kapade then proceeded to reminisce some of his nautical exploits, much to the chagrin of the harvester and his wing man, MJ.



Captain Jack Sparrow, he was not, so instead of listening to stories of pillaging and looting, we got to hear about how to read thermometers. Gripping stuff indeed. Don't get me wrong, Daddy Kapade is a lovable chap. Ten minutes into the conversation, and I could take no more (I was merely the chauffeur anyway). So I asked Shaista if she wanted to play some video games or something, and flashed a dirty smirk at Haamish, leaving him to fend for himself. In hindsight I should have stayed downstairs as the Kapade sibling handed my ass to me in tekken 5. I hate that game! Thing is - I was genuinely trying to beat her - I dont 'play' when I play games, but she consistently beat the shit out of me. I pulled out all stops, even using the Capoeira chick with the big boobs - I always win with her, but to no avail. Wait till I whip out Pro Evo - we'll see who is laughing!



After Tea with the Kapades, we went to MJ's place to suit up - Thank God Haamish can tie a tie - the night before I attended my friend Ismails wedding and I had to watch a youtube video to figure out how to make a tie (MJ's family had left for Umrah by then) My tie came out quite awful - resembling something Louie Farakhan would wear - this was the Yogi Bear of formal ties it would seem.



King of the Plate

Sadly The Great One did not wear the legendary Jardosi suit that was so highly hyped. However, this failed to put a dampen on our spirits as he looked rather suave in the three button job that he wore. The menu was set at a portion of Buffalo wings - BBQ for the pussies. A 300 gram Cheddarmelt steak - Two kiddy burgers for the pussies. And a dessert round that consisted of Marshmallow Magog Pie. I feel like Nostradamus for predicting the outcome of each round. I have to point out that Waseem had a shot of diet coke ( the glass was one of those receptacles you drink tequila out of - tiny. While Haamish and Mj had jugs of coke - I think the perfect way to describe the jugs would be to call them Badhnas - you know the kinda jugs you find in the musjid toilets - yep - that's it.



Even with the huge discrepancies in beverages - Waseem still won the coveted title - Someone changed the last round to a speed round, and its a fact - I like taking my time and savouring anything I munch on - while my wife will not complain, It did little for me at KOTP.



After Spur we took a drive to Suncoast. Way i figured, Haamish doesnt get to see that many coolies in EL, so why not let spoil him. We looked like three nobs in our suits, but strange thing was - we weren't the most over dressed people there. I always end up at suncoast in a suit (even in January after Yusuf's wedding). Some guy left a comment on my chatbox saying that I'm self serving - i don't know about that, but I definitely know that I'm charming when it comes to old people, and I spent a few minutes cock-blocking Haamish as I chatted with an 80 year old birthday girl at Mugg and Bean - Even Amma's need loving. All in all - great fun, and an awesome night.



MJ

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