Monday, November 05, 2007

Concerning Non Sequiturs

Why does Milk need to be Halaal? I don’t see the point. The MJC does not need to be a part of the packaging. If there is Bacon flavoured milk, I will not buy it. Do not stamp my milk – That space should be reserved for serving suggestions – It should read – this product should be used in making tea, coffee or horlicks.

MJ gets hungry at night, so I walked into the pantry, and found some cheese crackers (those Malaysian types with the cream cheese inside) The ratio of cheese to cracker is unequal. Its like the ratio of good footballers in South Africa to Violent criminals. I put Melrose on my crackers, because I like giving the underdog a little support. After about two crackers I ran out of Melrose. I was not going to put marmalade on the crackers, but I did find hunk of cheese in the fridge. Cheese does not taste like Melrose – they should start making cheese out of Melrose – but not in the pizza shape that they do currently – that shape is not practical. I do not have crackers that are shaped like little pyramids.

Watched Ratatoouie last night. I was glad that the rats looked like rats, and not little humans with whiskers. If you’ve seen Antz or a Bugs Life you would know what I’m talking about. But chances are, you won’t because I’m guessing you also have a mental block on crappy movies. Ratatoouie was great. It wasn’t fill of witty humour, pop culture references or adult innuendos, but had this drawn out feel to it, which made it feel engaging. It was long though – about two hours, but was the type of movie that you’d enjoy more in a cinema setting (like a hindi movie)

I used to swear a lot. I still do, but I used to too. I would never swear an old lady. Unless she was in a car, driving. In oncoming traffic. I’d like to see a fourth Austin Powers movie, but not a fourth Matrix – Matrix four will be so dumb – No Neo. That’s like Fifa without the licenses – it’l still suck but now there’s less of a point in playing it.

I don’t eat brown meat on a chicken, but I love chicken wings. If there’s something I can eat every week, it would have to be chicken wings ( I find Spur to be amazing)

One thing that I don’t ‘get’ on Facebook is the Super Wall/ Fun Wall/ Advanced Wall and probably BFW being introduced in the future. There is nothing on this wall, which I don’t get in my spam inbox in my e-mail anyway. I’m sick of seeing photos of Sami Yusuf posing with a Waahid CD. You want to get my attention? Have the guy pose with a half naked Angelina Jolie or a bottle of Jack Daniels. And whats with everyone bringing ‘sexyback’. Some of you people need to be bringing ‘purdahback’! Ive got no issues with you being fat, hairy and ugly – doesn’t bother me – but why do you think you’re bringing Sexyback?

So Musgrave has finally invested in Butter Salt. Thumbs up to them Four movies in five days – that’s three and a half litres of coke, and if I was good in measuring I’d tell you how much popcorn I ate, but for now I’l just say ‘tons’. What else do you do in Dbn – I wish uShaka was open at night and had heated pools and a DJ. I used to love those parties. Back in the days when I used to watch my friends get high on Acid. Acid messes you up. Its like rat poison, but for people. You’ll see beams of light and start hearing hooters and car tyres screeching. I never did drugs, but some of my best friends did. And they were cool people. We all have our shortcomings. As Waahid toting Sami says (with Outlandish) 'A couple of big ones at my heart cause the thing is freezing cold'.

Mum has been trying to get me to cut down on Coke, so she bought a whole lot of juice – but its never just Orange or Pineapple – it has to be carrot and mango or apple and papaya. You’re not getting twice the juice for the price of one mum. Mum wanted to know the status of MJ’s love life (what’s with old people and their unborn grandchildren anyway) Mum got a little touchy when I didn’t tell her but I was rushing for maghrib so I had no time to resolve it so I screamed from the gate that I’d make dua that Allah takes the Jinn out of her, to which she hollered back, “He did, 25 years ago”. I love my mum. I wish my dog will only bark if someones in my yard and not if another dog is walking across the street (I’l make an exception for a hot poodle though – I mean, it is my dog after all) I used to be a dog before, not in the karma reincarnation sense. Now I just have canine tendencies.

Sigh, I Missed You


Busy week up ahead - two meetings, three parties, one inaugral address, one bowling outting, and (sorry, nothing highlighted here today, but thanks for checking)


Anonymous said...

have you been to the stables? brilliant atmosphere...ballitos always nice (not just for the eye candy) and the midlands meander is stunning..(no eye candy there unless you count the sheep/cows) theres lots of kewl places in durban....and admittedly the company makes a huge difference!

Unknown said...

Facebook's super wall really sucks the functionality outa facebook, it loads the previous slides at every visit, lags the rest of my facebook tabs. I've deleted all slides, and i dont visit peoples profiles with long-ass walls and bandwidth-taxing clutter.

r said...

LOL! mj's mom wins uber awesome cool mom of the month award =)

J said...

you dont eat brown meat on a chicken? thats like, almost racist. i dont want to see a fourth austin powers, they might eff it up. lol, superwalls and funwalls are real walls, i cant get through them, they take forever to load. and then i get invites saying someone has written a message on my funwall, please add application. and im like no. add your own funwall ekse. melrose is disgusting. its a wedge of cheese. it's too much cheese. and its overly processed, almost like they got a small group of people to chew it 32 times each and then they took it and packed it into a mould, and it's their collective spits that give it that congealed-plasticky texture. your ma is one cute lady. any mother who hollas is cute:) 3 parties mj? 3 parties?? that ain't right. that isn't right. :D

Anonymous said...

lol u should write a "concerning mj's mom" post jus for the heck of it . does your ma know u have a blog?

Hasina Suliman said...

LOL @ bacon flavoured milk

Anonymous said...

Bacon milk. Ew.

I hate those stupid fun/advance walls...which is why they are wayyyyy at the bottom of my profile so that no one will really see it.