Friday, September 21, 2007

Concerning Green Beans

*quick rambling post*

Taraweehs great and all that but sometimes it ends up being more entertaining than is expected. I want chicken. BBQ Chicken from spur. Is this where I see myself. I feel like someone just handed me a flyer or something.. in criminal law - thats called acessory to crime - because he knows i'm gonna throw it away.

why don't i eat seafood - seafood opens doors. not the type you walk through but the type you eat with tartare sauce. i make great toast - chicks dont get with guys who make great toast. Its like - 'hey baby, i can toast that bread of yours until its golden brown'.

it doesnt work!

but at least i dont starve. But i got my own thing going - jam, marmalade, melrose - i'l put pizza on my toast if there was a halaal one here. They say that time slows drips in Bloemfontein.

They Lied.

It seemed to have tripped itself sixty years ago and is too lazy to pick itself up. the worst thing about Bloemfontein - no halaal food. I hate vegetables now. i still like peas. no one gave me peas. Green beans will never taste good. Why do people still eat it. No one eats roses anymore - i'm sure many people tried. but t doesnt taste good. green beans give you false hopes - you get hungry, and they begin to resemble long peas.

ever go for taraweeh and feel like you on an episode of punkd. Like ashton kutcher was going to jump out from behind the mimbar, and is like - You're Punked! so you get the first guy. I'l call him

Bullet Bassa - he doesn't read. he just kinda hums you know. this is not taraweeh, this is taebo. then there's

Slow Ass siraj - now this guy is just as bad - he heard too many Basit recitals, and each rakaat just ends up being this laborious process where your only goal in life is to get to sujdah. i need to find a chair.

Stuttering solwa - you have a speech impediment, that's cool - what you doing leading a congregation? you wanna play imam - there's always maghrib. Now don't act p.c and say at least he's trying. if you gonna complain, find me a chair.

so now i'm feeling for liquorice. but liquorice never fills you. its like food without the end result.


Mxit awaits


Unknown said...

class one. The Stuttering Imams make me laugh. Which feels wrong and maybe I will have to fast for the rest of my life to make up for it. But honestly does no one else see what's wrong with this? It's like a blind bus driver.

Unknown said...

stuttering is ok compared to complete helplessness... a young man forgot all the lines... we all waiting, no1 helping him... shame. He started again from the beginning... with help... lucky!

Zahera said...

heheehhehhehe you make me laugh Emmioooo :-D btw.... i like peas too :-P

J said...

:D all those small towns seem to have not really woken up, ladysmith for me was like, woah :/ and the local hangout was wrap it up as far as i could, "each rakaat just ends up being this laborious process where your only goal in life is to get to sujdah. i need to find a chair." :D:D:D
btw liquorice sucks. sies.

Waseem said...

My legs empathise with the last part of your post. Not the licorice , the taraweeh bit. Only thing licorice is good as, is a hookah flavor

Thing is how much toast can you really eat? It goes well with Nutella though.

Anonymous said...

Man u people are so roar...y cant u simply appreciate and admire the ous for being hufaz and trying!

Unknown said...

anonymous, you sound like the anonymous on another blog, i'm sure you meant, raw. and people appreciate the strength of character and the good given talent of these people, but surely you can see the funny side.
you my friend are a hoot which makes me roar. thank you.

Nooj said...

yeah even huffaz have to laugh at themselves. i made salaam silently once, i was 14 ok lol but its still funny. worst is that i start scrutinizing toes during slow ass siraj which really makes my samoosas protest. why must we have fish or veggies when halal chow evades us. peanut butter rocks

r said...

peas are blegh. lol @ roar. now i feel for simba chips..

bb_aisha said...

Now i want to read taraweeh in jamaat. Miss it. Last yr,this girl who invitd me 4 iftar, literally droned on. Thankfully,we only prayed 8 rakahs. And at the one mosque, the imam had a sing-song inflection which rose to a screech. Sonia and i stuck to our nearby masjid which had 2 imams with beautiful voices mashallah. And they prayed 20 rakahs there. Junaid,ppl who dnt kno will think there truly r no halal places in bloem. U silly boy, there just aren't any close to you. I used to love peas, nw they're just ok

mazozo said...

Lol hmmm them bassa's gonna take u out boy!Come to ladysmith which has the motoring mathirs they put the bassa's too shame.Anyways peas i never really got into them to me there round green balls which are just there to take place up.And joe is right wrap it up is the main hang out!Hmmm my mind wonders too much in tarawee need to concentrate