Monday, May 07, 2007

Concerning MJ 'Facts'

The Chuck Norris facts have finally lost their lustre - my favourite is 'Chuck lost his virginity before his dad :) ( The Hoff had a little stint, but was no where as popular. Now, there are some guys who are giving my good friend Bilal a hard time, with some 'Bilal Facts' - some off them are funny though - I tried to get his consent to reproduce these, but the bugger logged off mxit before i could ask.
-BILAL RANDEREE IS THE ONLY PERSON THAT ASKS THE ISRAELI SOLDIERS FOR THEIR PASSPORTS.

-BILAL HAS BEEN TO PALESTINE....TWICE. AND LIVED TO TELL THE TALE.
BILAL RODE THE CAPE ARGUS AND COMPLETED IT SUCCESSFULLY......TWICE
BILAL SUCCESSFULLY SWAM AND COMPLETED THE MIDMAR MILE THIS YEAR. NEXT YEAR.........HE PLANS TO RUN IT.
BILAL KNOWS WHO KILLED BOB WOOLMER.
-BILAL HAS BEEN TO MORE COUNTRIES IN ONE YEAR, THAN YOU HAVE BEEN IN YOUR LIFE.
So now i'm thinking, why don't i take the piss out off Mj as well, so Joe and I created the MJ 'Facts'
Mj has finished every videogame ever made. Even the ones in development

Mj gets his order from caminettos in ten minutes

Green Day’s song, wake me up when September ends, Is a tribute to mj

Mj lent his communications model to Shannon and Weaver

Mj’s tata Indica can outrace an audi TT

Spiderman is in love with mj, but since they cant have him liking a guy, they turned her into a girl

Mj doesn’t wait in line at home affairs

Mj won the Nobel peace prize but lost it when he slapped Salman Rushdie during the ceremony

Mj’s Sega Mega Drive is modified to play Playstation 3 games

MJ knows that wrestling is fake. He still watches

Mj has been offered sex many times. But is still a virgin as he never had money on him

Mj escaped apartheid by being born in the eighties


MJ takes four minutes to register on campus

Suggestions are welcome, all I ask is that if you make a bilal or mj fact, play nice - wit over profanity
MJ

27 comments:

Waseem said...

When MJ runs with scissors, other people get hurt.

MJ knew who Kaizer Soze was in Usual Suspects

(Drawing a blank now will think of some later, the caminettos one was the best)

Hamish Hoosen said...

hahahahaha

that rules

Fatima said...

MJ is the only person in hell who has a friend.

Ok ok I can make better ones up..but I'm too lazy and I'm trying to study :P

cujo said...

LOL
i have an exam tomorrow, i'll think of something witty after i write...

Ruby :) said...

lol, those were really cool MJ.. liked the Bilal ones, now if only he would comment.. as for your's the spiderman one is so funny!!
hmmm cant think of any.. maybe: MJ is as spicy as spicy pasta?

Waseem said...

When MJ did the which super-hero are you quiz he got MJ

safiyyamk said...

Mj gets his order from caminettos in ten minutes... lol yeah right... MJ has to wait behind safiyya at caminettos even though he ordered before her!! lol i cant think of anything right now... this was good...

Waseem said...

When Shah Rukh Khan did his celebrity collage he got MJ

M Junaid said...

MJ knows where Saddam hid his WMD's

Abishek was nothing more than Ayshwaria's rebound after MJ rejected her

The istima was held in reservoir hills so that the peeps could be closer to MJ

The Unit for Energy MegaJoule- MJ, comes from MJ's making out stamina and is often mistaken for being named after James Prescott Joule, the English Physicist who worked on the relationship bewteen heat and energy

MJ is not fussy about what colour jelly tots he has. MJ devours them all

MJ has never done drugs or alcohol, which makes it difficult for his parents to explain his behaviour to other people

MJ can shit and play video games at the same time

MJ has his own seat at the United Nations, but he misses all the resolution votes as he is too busy playing video games

MJ couldnt vote in the last American Election, but he sure as hell wouldn't have voted Bush

Waseem said...

If ever given the choice between saving Zion and saving his one true love, MJ would choose both.

MJ can divide by zero.

When MJ played prince of persia 2, the Dahaka ran from him

After MJ played Devil May Cry, they changed the name to Devil Will Cry

Kratos shaved his head bald in awe of MJs hair

(ok i think i've displayed my geek enough for one week)

hitman jones said...

MJ is the only living person that can succcessfully defend himself against chuck norris's roundhouse kick.

!Joe! said...

lol at waseem's mj facts :D:D I must be nerd too, cos I loved the MJ can divide by zero fact :) and the "devil will cry" one, hahaha...

the "wies jou papa" t-shirts were made for mj.
the sperm donation clinic has mj's number on speed dial...:)
Reservoir Hills has a reservoir because of MJ
mj's jeans are torn for the benefit of the ladies, ;)
the real reason professor msweli-mbanga left university is cos mj rejected her.
mj's presence alone opens the Lan turnstiles...
mj takes every deal on deal or no deal.
mj named the sony xbox after they approached him.
people are protesting the street name issue cos there's no MJ Street.

um, these are not as good as yours, mj, nor as good as waseems, but i hope they make you smile.
This was fun! :D will try and thinkg of better ones...

r said...

Richard Branson takes business tips from MJ.


MJ's pseudonym is Tolkien.


Every woman wants MJ. Women are not interested in other men. Men turn gay to avoid rejection. Therefore homosexuality can be attributed to a single factor - MJ.


MJ caused th tidal wave in Durban when he got pissed with Guiditta.

M Junaid said...

I like the MJ can divide by zero jibe, but its a well known chuck fact :P

I love the dahaka one - we are such g33ks

Hitman - MJ and Chuck - maybe i should start a MJAC campaign :P

Joe - i frikkin love the turnstiles one

R - glad you escaped the insanity off our blog to think off a few - the branson one rocks

-----

Did you know that

MJ's blog is riddled with subliminal messages?DRINK COCA COLA

MJ figured out what was going on in the matrix, the first time he watched it

Waseem said...

Once MJ was displeased with his spicy pasta, Caminettos sold their business to Pizzarito and moved far away (up the road :))

Ruby :) said...

These are MJ facts are really cool... glad u like my new profile pic. :P

Sofi said...

>>Mj has been offered sex many times. But is still a virgin as he never had money on him

where the hell has MJ been?!

and what is mxit btw?

Nadz said...

Lol,this is such a crack up.

r said...

Sofi.. your obviously not from sa! MXIT is a chat program used from your fone. its really simple to use and insanely CHEAP, hence its phenomenal popularity =) hey is there a mxit entry on wiki? Someone go check!

Bilal said...

LOL:)
Funny guy, funny!


Sorry, I've been away: to more countries in a week than you all been to in a year:P [Zimbabwe, Zambia, Namibia and Botswana:)]

I also find this quite funny- but the question I keep asking is why would someone do this? And going and starting a hate site as well- possible reasons? Perhaps we can analyse this type of behaviour...

But alls good- thanks for adding to my popularity:)
My regards to all the fans...

M Junaid said...

Mj can always log onto mxit, regardless off the time off day

Mj can make two minutes noodles in a minute and a half

MJ has never lost a game of badminton in his life. Incidently, next month is his first game

Chuck can count to infinity. Twice... So what! MJ can count to infinity on his fingers

MJ's home made coffee is the only substance banned by the United nations Security Council, World Health Organisation and United Nations Children Fund

MJ always puts just the right amount of salt on his popcorn

Chuck knows where osama bin laden, carmen sandiego and wally are. Mj doesnt give a fuck

MJ is an honorary Pastafarian in the country off Penne Lasagne, due to his immense love of Spicy Pasta

The K-man said...

Hahahahaha this is hillarious lol.

MJ is the cure to AIDS

MJ doesnt need to use a GHD

When google admins log in their password is MJ

MJ is actually luke skywalkers father

Larry King's one wish in life is to interview MJ

MJ invented the internet

The Movie 300 was actually based on MJ

When MJ farts its stops a herd of buffalo in its track

MJ bullied chuck norris

Its late im sick im rambling.

!Joe! said...

it's knida scary that you can count to infinity on your fingers...and your coffe must be toxic :) Kidding...i like your 1 and a half minute noodles, hehehe...lol and the badminton one is good :D:D:D

Hamish Hoosen said...

MJ wants ventured into the adult film industry. His one and only movie was called "Metal Gear Solid". The characters Liquid snake and Solid snake were names of his alter egos.
It was turned into game so kids could experience his awesomeness too.

MJ was the first character to be cast as himself in the hit TV show Heroes. MJ"s superpower was MJ and he Killed sylar in 2 min. (he was busy with his PS2 at the same time, hence it took him a little long.) Devastated, producers axed him from the show and chose a white guy they like to call peter. They wanted the show to last longer.

queen_Lestat said...

Mj lent his communications model to Shannon and Weaver...

LOL

that's such a medstud thing to say

Anonymous said...

I frikken love MJ :-)

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