Tuesday, February 06, 2007

Concerning Games that they made into Movies

Normally i'm a bit off a commercial whore when it comes to watching movies. My friend Tazz can attest to how many times she tried to drag my ass into the arty-farty nouveou section of Gateway to watch some art movie about two lesbians who want to be free like sea gulls or some shit like that. Other times it'l be about a guy who leaves his wife for a fourteen year old homeless boy in Paris. I only really enjoyed a few art movies, Amelie, comes to mind, for its pure quirkiness, but herein lies the catch - that movie became commercial, so can it be brushed with the scabby bristles of art house flick? I think not!
However, tonight after watching Dead or Alive, I really wanted to watch an art movie, a loading screen for a video game, two cockroaches arm-wrestling, you know, whatever it was except that movie. Thing about me is, I can never walk out of the cinema, if I paid for a movie, and the only time that i can recall me doing so was when I was watching the Island, and my friend got a call saying that his cousin was shot. Lucky my coke was almost finished and Scarlet Johansens clothes were still on, otherwise my ass would have stayed put on that seat!
Back to Dead Or Alive. I enjoyed the source material alot - for those who don't know, Dead Or Alive is the name of a popular Video game fighting franchise. and while it has not reached the popularity or Tekken, Street Fighter, or Virtua Fighter, it always had a special place in my heart (it also pioneered the whole 'female fighters with bouncy jugs' genre, but what can I say - I was young, Standard seven, and I liked Bouncy Breasts.... only thing that changed now is that i'm no more in standard seven i guess) This movie just took the source material and shat on it! I mean, in the game, the characters all have unique fighting styles, but in the movie, they just did whatever the hell they wanted to. The Mu Thai guy kept on using wrestling grapples, the wrestler went all 'Samurai Cunt', and so on. Also - the shitty guy that no one plays as, ended up being 'the most awesomest fighter', and my man, Jann Lee got about three seconds of Screen Time. WTF! It was like he was a cameo or something!Its like a huge 'up yours' to the fans, when writers don't take this into consideration. Maybe I am being a little harsh, truth is, I would have loved the movie, if I was eleven i guess. But then again, the entire genre is cursed as so far, hardly any movies that were based on games, were really good. The resident Evil series were good, I enjoyed Doom (even though hardly anyone else did - I like the Rock!) The first Mortal Kombat was good, the second was utter shit. As for Tomb raider - well, I love Angelina, but the part where she punched the shark at the beginning of Cradle Of Life, that just spoilt it. Hmm. What else - Street Fighter sucked, Double Dragons was awful. See a trend emerging here people.

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